Just when things were looking up
by AmyLeeFisher
Summary: James is recovering from cancer and then just when things are looking up Logan has an astma attack then kendall hurts him self trying to help Logan,is Carlos being pushed away, read to find out what happens :)
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story and im not really sure how its gonna turn out because im not very good with words i just have fun writing but thats what its all about right ... any way disclamier i dont own big time rush.**

james has been battleing cancer for almost a year now and things were finaly getting back to normal, well thats what they thought anyway. it was a nice sunny day at the palmwoods and the boys were playing basketball.

"logan, pass to me"kendall yelled.

"in your dreams knight" logan yelled back.

'james catch"logan said "

"good job james" kendall said

" yeah at-it-boy" carlos exclaimed.

"guys weve been over this im fine, you dont need to congradulate for every bite of cereal i eat"james said

" Look james we sorry if we affended you" kendall said

"james were sorry its just wers so used to yo-

"Logan what's wrong , talk to me" kendall said getting down to logans leveland logan was now hunched over

' a-as-as" logan was now panting

" ASTHMA" carlos shouted

" what? but he has'nt had an attack since he was like 7, logan wheres your inhaler?" kendall said

" 2J d-uf-fle b-a-agg" Logan panted

"dont talk, carlos stay here with logan, james you call the ambulance i will go get the inhaler" kendall anouced

**kendall's POV**

i dont think i have ever ran as fast in my life, i burst through the doors of 2J i saw kaite and her lips were moving but it was all a blur and ran into mine and logans shared room i couldnt see the duffle bag anywear then i saw one of logans skates sticking out from under the bed. I dove down on the floor shaking like an idiot then next to the skate i saw the bag i pulled out and i saw the baby bule inhaler i grabed it and started running towards the park but what i didnt realize was the steep stairs.

**Normal POV**

Kendall fell down the sairs and twisted he back.

"owww my back" kendall said

kendall tried to get back up but a sharp pain shot up his back and he fell back down agian.

' no i have to do this for logan" kendall got up and started running towards the park when he finally got the adrediline rush was starting to wear off and the pain was becoming more sharp untill kendall saw what was lying infront of him. his jaw dropped and everything around him seemed to be moving in slow motion

A sobbing Carlos , james was trying to be strong holding back the tears and a limp Logan was being craddled by james his lips were blue he eyes were closed.

Kendall rushed to his side and popped the cap off the inhaler placing it against Logan's lip he puffed the medicine into Logan and hoped for the best kendall ,James and Carlos sat their untill the silence was broken by the sounds of a Amblance.

"come on man we need you" kendall said

**to be continued please tell me what you think and if i should continue **

**xx Amy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I hoped you liked the last chapter , I had fun writing this one , disclaimer I don't own BTR, any who enjoy :)**

"out my way kid" the paramedic pushed pass Kendall and shoved James out the way who fell backwards onto the ground.

"Watch it he has cancer" Kendall growls.

" sorry kid I didn't know"

' That's ok I'm fine now "James said shot Kendall a you know we've talked about this look

Kendall backed away, the paramedics were closing the doors of the ambulance when a small tanned hand wedged between the doors.

"Wait can I come I don't want him to be alone when he wakes up" Carlos pleaded

"Sure kid but quick we have to get him to the hospital" Carlos nodded

"We will meet you there now go" Kendall said getting impatient, the doors closed and the sirens faded away

Kendall's head was pounding, replaying what had happened in the last 10 minutes but he was snapped out of his trance when James's hand was being waved in front of his face.

"You okay dude?, come on let's get to the hospital" James said reaching out his hand to Kendall

"Yeah I'm good" only just reglazing that he was still on the ground; Kendall reached out to grab James hand when his back protested a sharp pain shot up his spine and made him yelp.

"Ahh" Kendall tried to get up again but fell back down

"Kendall what's wrong "James asked concerned about his best friend

"m-my b-ba-ak" Kendall said through gritted teeth, as the pain dulled a little " I fell down the stairs on the way here"

"why didn't you say something, you can be so stubborn sometimes" James said who was annoyed at Kendall for not telling anyone he was hurt even considering the circumstances

" I just wanted to make sure Logie was okay, now can you save the lecture and help me up so we can go see Logan"

"Yeah we can go see Logan and get you checked out while were three" James said in a stern voice

" I'm fine let's just go see if Logan is okay" Kendall said getting frustrated with James

"Oh really your fine are you" James said sarcastically and started to walk away and leave Kendall behind. "come on lets go see Logan"

"James where are you going don't just leave me here!" Kendall said not finding James's childish behaviour funny.

"well you said your fine so get up were going" James said with a smirk on his face

"fine I will see a doctor when we get there, happy, now help me up"

'Gladly" James said as he wrapped one arm around Kendall's waist and hoisted him up, a tiny whimper escaped Kendall's lips as they made their way back to the Palmwoods. They had almost made it to the lobby when James realized that he was almost carrying all of Kendall's weight.

"Kendall man let's sit down" James said sympathetically

"No come on I'm almost their we have to get to Logan, he's gonna wake up and wonder where we are"

"Yeah but I'm sure he would want you in one piece, sit here and I will be right back" before Kendall could protest James placed Kendall on a bench outside the Palmwoods and ran through the doors and into the lobby.

Kendall wondered what he was up to but then he remembered last year when he and Camille did this stupid figure skating competition and he broke his leg in four different places and he had to wear this stupid moon boot and he had crutches and a wheel chair, if Kendall was thinking correct which he hoped he wasn't James was gonna bring the wheelchair it was embarrassing enough the first time yet alone a second.

James appeared a few minutes later wheeling the wheel chair through the lobby with a giant smile plastered on his face. Kendall's jaw dropped open.

"Oh not you didn't"

"Oh yes I did" James said as he hoisted Kendall up once again

"I'm not getting in that" Kendall said as he tried to get out of James's death grip, but his back protested and he let out a whimper.

"You don't have a choice Kenny" James lowered Kendall into the chair and started wheeling him towards the car.

Kendall being Kendall had a pout on his face all the way to the hospital. James pulled into the hospital car park and wheeled Kendall into the hospital.

Kendall and James went up to the front desk and were greeted by a young women in her early twenty's. "Hi boys how can I help you? "she greeted warmly

"Hi I'm diamond, James diamond and our friend Logan Mitchell was brought in about 30minutes ago he had an asthma attack" James said as he flashed one of his famous smiles

The lady at the desk giggled, Kendall rolled his eyes " room 247 down the hallway to the left" she pointed the way

" thank you" Kendall said in a sarky voice

"what was all that about" James said making his way towards Logan's room

" Whats what all about? Kendall said knowing what James ment but just felt like winding him up.

"that sarcasm back there" James said in a you know exactly what I mean voice

" do you always have to flirt with every girl you meet" Kendall said in an annoyed tone

" you wouldn't understand, it comes with being the pretty one" james said

" you are so annoying somtim- , there it is room 247" Kendall exclaimed

**A/N Review please :)**

**Xx Amy**

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	3. Chapter 3

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**Can't wait for big time rush's third album it's going to be amazing! And plus I'm super excited about Friday because season 3 starts on TV and im SUPER jelous because every country gets to see season 3 before me ...anyway on with the story :)**

James pushed open the door and wheeled Kendall inside. Kendall's mood lightened when he saw Logan sitting up in his bed , the colour had returned to his face and he was happy eat a pudding cup and clearly deep in conversation with Carlos because Logan apparently heard them come in until Kendall interrupted them.

Kendall cleared his throat, and Logan and Carlos imeadently turned their attention to Kendall

"Wow Kendall you look shorter than usual" Carlos said taking the mickey of Kendall

"Yeah there was a few complications getting here, anyway Lo-

"You bet there was" a snickering James butted in.

"You better watch in diamond because god help me when I get better you're a dead man" Kendall said getting worked up

"Down boy, back in your cage" James teased

By this point everyone in the room was in hysterics except for Kendall who was back to pouting and decided to change the subject

"Anyway Logan as I was saying BEFORE I got INTERUPTED by a CERTAIN SOMEONE, how are you feeling?"

"I fine thanks, the doctor said my asthma flared up again so I just have to keep my inhaler with me at all times and just be careful, he said I'm lucky I got the medicine when I did, all thanks to you I owe you one" Logan said with a smile on his face.

"So when can you be dis-charged?" James questioned

"They said I need a parent or guardian to sign the dis-charged forms before I can leave" Logan said Then at the same time everyone realized that no-one had notified Mrs Knight of the situation.

"Carlos can you call Mrs Knight while I take Mr Grumpy pants over here to get his back checked out" James said and Kendall rolled his eyes.

Carlos nodded and James to Kendall down the hall towards the front desk.

"Oh no not again" Kendall said while he tried to get up but james pushed him back down.

" what do you think you're doing?"

" getting up so I don't have to sit through another session of you flirting with Blondie over there "Kendall said pointing to the lady at the front desk

" I promise I wont now come on "

James parked Kendall next to him as he approached the front desk with a cheesy grin of his face

"Here we go "mumbled Kendall

"What was that" James said quickly turning his head towards Kendall

"Nothing "Kendall said quickly trying not to make eye contact with James

"That's what I thought" James turned his attention away from Kendall and to the lady at the front desk.

"back again are we, how's your friend doing?' said politely

"He's doing fine thanks for asking but I'm not here for him, I'm actually here for Mr stubborn pants over here" James moved aside so she could see Kendall, Kendall gave her a crooked smile.

"I see" she laughed. "Well what seems to be the problem?"

"Well I was on my way dow-"Kendall was cut off by James

"He fell down two flights of stairs trying to get to Logan" James said

"Well then James if you wouldn't mind helping Kendall to the room on the left and I will go get a doctor to take a look" she smiled and slid a piece of paper over to James and walked off to get a doctor.

"Guess who just got a phone number?" before Kendall got the chance answer James answered for him. "I did"

" James can you be serious for one minute and help me over to the room " Kendall said who was getting sick of James right now and wished it was Logan who was helping him.

James put his arm around Kendall and pulled him up and he didn't remember Kendall being this heavy.

"Come on dude at least try and walk abit" James said trying to hold Kendall upright

"J-James "Kendall was starting to fall to the ground unable to hold himself up

"Kendall buddy what wrong?" James asked concern present in his voice.

"i-I can't feel m-my legs "Kendall said falling to the ground and into unconsciousness.

James was at Kendall's side instantly, James was frozen with fear he hated seeing his friend so helpless and weak. Kendall was the leader and to see him like this it hurt James.

"K-Kendall talk t-to m-me" James said almost in tears. 'SOMEBODY HELP I NEED A DOCTOR"!

**hehe I'm so evil doing that to poor Kenny and thank you for the reviews it made me so happy and I will hopefully update by Friday or sooner ... Enjoy. REVEIWS PLEASE it makes me so happy :)**

**Xx Amy **

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	4. Chapter 4

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**Thanks for the reviews guys it means so much to me. I GOT 6 REVEIWS !, and i know it probz dosent seem much to you but it means so much to me . Also I would appreciate any ideas for future chapters. Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with BTR. Enjoy :)**

Logan was sitting on his bed and Carlos was on the phone with Mrs Knight.

"He's fine now, we just need you to come sign the discharge forms and also Kendall twisted his back funny so he just getting checked out then we should be able to go home"

"Thanks mamas Knight see you soon"

Carlos hung up the phone and turned round to face Logan

"Hey Carlos are you ok you've seemed down since we got here" Logan said concerned for his friend

"I'm fine it's just-"Carlos was cut off by a loud rush of doctors and nurses rushing past Logan's room

"Male, around 16, stable vitals and early signs of mild scoliosis numbness in both legs" a nurse said as she followed holding the drip behind the gurney.

"Can you tell me the name of your friend son" a male doctor said

"K-Kendall, Kendall knight" James said in a shaky voice

Logan and Carlos jumped out of their sitting positions at the sound of James's voice and the whole situation that has just played out in front of them. They rushed out into the hallway to find a sobbing James sat in one of the hallway chairs.

"James what the hell happened" Logan asked

"Is Kenny alright?" Carlos asked innocently

James lifted his head from his hands and just stares out into space and started whispering things to himself.

"James snap out of it, tell us what happened" Logan said sternly

"i-i-I should have noticed sooner, I shouldn't have been messing around with that girl, it's my fault" James said almost in tears his eyes watering up again.

"James buddy you're not making any sense what girl what are you talking about" Logan said kneeling down so he could look at James in the eye.

After a few minutes of silence James had calmed down and was ready to talk.

" well when we first arrived here I met this hot receptionist and I was kind of flirting with her and then when we went the second time Kendall gave me this lecture and told me not to flirt and I didn't listen and then he was struggling to…. Walk and…. And then ….. Then he … he couldn't feel….. Feel his legs …. And "James couldn't continue he broke down crying and honestly he couldn't give a dam who was watching.

"Jamie, it's okay, none of this is your fault were just having a lot of bad luck" Logan said in an attempt to cheer James up.

"BAD LUCK BAD LUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME!" Carlos shouted and shattering the silence that was present.

"Hey, hey, hey Carlos buddy calm down" Logan said trying to keep the situation under control

" CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN ARE YOU JOKING LOGAN, EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST 6 MONTHS HAS BEEN MORE THAN BAD LUCK JAMES GETTING CANCER, YOUR ASTHMA NOW KENDALL, AND WORST OFF ALL I HAVE BEEN CONSTANTLY PUSHED AWAY BY YOU GUYS" Carlos sudden outburst had James and Logan stunned they didn't know what to say.

"Carlos buddy were so sorry we didn't know we made you feel so—"James was cut off.

'Save it James I don't want to hear it, I'm sick of you, no wait I'm sick of everyone and everything" Carlos started to walk away.

"Logan go after him" James said

"what about you?' Logan said

"You always were good with words plus I have to wait for news on Kendall and Mrs Knight will be here soon" James said nudging Logan towards the direction Carlos just walked of in.

"Okay, I'll be back" Logan walked towards the main entrance because he figured Carlos would have gone and got some fresh air, and he was right. Carlos had his back turned to the entrance and he was facing the Hospital visiting gardens.

"Litos you okay?" Logan asked slowly approaching the smaller boy

"Don't!" Carlos said sternly

"Don't what "Logan said confused about what he meant

"Don't baby me" Carlos said getting angry at his friend

"Carlos I didn't mean anything by it I was jus—"Logan said defending himself

"Save it, I don't wanna hear it anymore "Carlos said raising his voice "YOU KENDALL AND JAMES ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A KID AND IM FUCKING SICK OF IT! Carlos cussed

Logan was gob smacked he almost never heard Carlos swear in fact Logan couldn't remember the last time Carlos swore.

"Carlos i—"

"NO LOGAN IM NOT GOING TO STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU BABBLE ON AND TELL ME –" Carlos didn't expect what happened next Logan started shouting too , and Logan never shouted even when he was really mad.

" YOU NEED TO SNAP OUT OF IT CARLOS IVE TREID BEING PATIENT WITH YOU AND CLEARLY THAT'S NOT WORKING,NOW YOU'VE GOT JAMES SITTING IN THERE A COMPLETE WRECK AND KENDALL ,GOD KNOWS IF HES EVEN GOING TO WALK PROPERLY AGAIN , THEN THERES YOU,YOU NEED TO WAKE UP TO REALITY AND GET IN THERE, AND BE THEIR FOR YOU FRIENDS" Logan finished what he had to say and he was glad Carlos didn't butt in like the other times.

Although Carlos didn't butt in, he was clearly planning something because what came next was unexpected. Carlos through a punch and hit head on with Logan's jaw.

"WHAT THE HELL CARLOS" Logan said clutching the side of his face, Logan removed his hand to find a spot of blood his lip was bleeding.

"You're a jerk you know that" Carlos said walking away.

"Where are you going "Logan asked even though he couldn't care less about Carlos right now.

"Home" Carlos shouted back and didn't even bother to turn round

"Some friend you are? "Logan felt guilty as soon as the words left his mouth and had the urge to apologize but didn't.

"Fuck off Logan" Carlos said and carried on walking.

**What's gonna happen to btr? Only I know muwahahahah . I promise you will find out what happens to Kendall soon . And will mabye upload the next chpter later today.I hope you enjoyed this chapter and PLEASE REVIEW because it makes me update and write quicker.**

**xx Amy**

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	5. Chapter 5

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**Keep the reviews coming guys It means so much, disclaimer: I don't own big time rush ( man I wish I did) btw the only reason I am updating fast is because I'm on holidays and I have so much spare time. Enjoy :)**

Logan walked through the hospital entrance and towards where he had last seen James and he found him next to a not so happy Katie, I mean who could blame her, Then Mrs Knight talking to the Doctor.

Logan approached James and Katie.

"Hey guys" Logan said and gave them an awkward smile.

"Logan what happened" Katie and James said together

"I –I tripped outside, pretty clumsy right?" Logan hoped his cover up would be believable.

"Yeah clumsy" Katie said sarcastically

"Were not stupid Logan, what really happened?" James said kind of annoyed that Logan would lie to him.

"Carlos" Logan said so quickly he wasn't sure if the others heard him.

"Funny joke, now what really happened" Katie said

"No seriously Carlos punched me" Logan said

"But Carlos wouldn't hurt a fly" James said defending his friend

"Yeah well he was pretty pissed when I got out there" Logan said

"Well you must of said something to him "Katie said knowing dam well that Carlos must have had a good reason for punching one of his best friends

"Well let's just say I said something's, he said something" Logan said realizing just how bad he felt about the whole argument

"Logan you know Carlos is sensitive" James said

"Yeah I agree with James, What exactly did you say to him?" Katie's said

"I think you're wrong about Carlos, maybe he has been pretending to act sensitive" Logan said

'What are you on about" James said confused about what Logan meant

"Well when we were arguing he said that he was sick of being treated like a baby" Logan said

"In those exact words?" Katie questioned thinking Carlos liked being treated like baby.

"Well actually the way he said it was worse" Logan said hoping that they wouldn't make him repeat what Carlos had said earlier.

"Well are gonna stand there or are you gonna tell us what he said?" Katie said impatiently.

"well he said you James and Kendall always treat me like a kid and I'm fucking sick of it" Logan just stared and James and Katie who had their mouths open.

"Yeah so next time you tell me I'm good with words I'm not going to talk to him" Logan said and walked away from James and Katie and towards Mrs Knight.

"Hey mama knight any news on Kendall?" Logan asked hoping she would know something by now.

"Hi L-Logan how are you f-feeling sweetie, oh my gosh what happed to your face?" Mrs Knight Voice was shaky

"I'm fine, and I fell outside clumsy right? Now please tell me what's wrong with Kendall" Logan begged

"I'm afraid it's not good news Logan, Kendall h-he well he's in surgery now, when he fell his spinal cord was dislodged and a few of his discs trapped a nerve which caused him to lose feeling in his legs, and if they can't release the nerve he may not walk again, oh Logan" Mrs Knight collapsed into Logan's arms and started to cry.

"W-why is ev-everything f-falling a-part" Mrs Knight sobbed

"Shhhhh its ok" Logan tried to calm her Mrs Knight down holding back the tears himself

"You b-boys don't de-deserve this" she said calming down abit.

"Excuse Mrs Knight" a male voice said

"y-yes" she said drying her tears

"Your son is out of theatre and is resting, room 516 ICU "the man said

"D-dis the surgery work? "Logan asked in a weak voice

"I'm afraid we won't know until he wakes up"

"What do you mean wakes up?" Carlos said

Carlos had appeared out of know where, and it made Logan jump because he didn't realize Carlos was there.

"Carlos I'm so glad your back" James said now entering the conversation and laying a comforting hand on Carlos's shoulder.

"DON'T touch me!" Carlos said moving away from James

James was hurt, Carlos was his best friend and now it was like Carlos didn't want to know him, Katie noticed this and gave him a hug which James gladly accepted.

"Well what do you mean wont WAKE UP?" Carlos said directing the question towards the doctor once again.

"Well it's quite common for a patient to go into a comatose state after major surgery and especially at a young age like your friend" The doctor said getting nervous at Carlos behaviour.

"i-is he going to wake up?" Katie spoke up and shocked she actually got the words out considering she was almost in tears, she couldn't hold back anymore, Katie let a tear roll down her face; James noticed this and wiped away the tear and, decided to return the hug that Katie had given him earlier.

"The chances of him waking up are 50/50, but the more he heals the higher the chances of him waking up get" he said with a comforting smile.

"Thank you doctor, okay boys I'm going to take Katie to get some dinner, fancy anything?" she asked

"No I fine mama Knight, I think I'm gonna go see Kendall" Logan said

"Yeah I'm gonna pass too, Logan mind if I come with you "James asked

"Not at all, let's go" Logan said with a smile

"Hey loges did you see where Carlos went? 'James asked noticing that Carlos had fled the scene after the doctor had answered his question.

"No I didn't but I'm guessing he went to see Kendall" Logan said giving James a reassuring smile.

"ICU this way "James said following the way the sign pointed.

James and Logan approached Kendall's room but stopped at the door when they heard crying coming from inside. Logan and James put their ears to the door and listened.

"a-and its j-just been s-so hard f-for me and now e-everything i-is f-fal-ling apart" Carlos took Kendall's limp hand in his and carried on crying.

James and Logan had heard enough and pulled away from the door at the same time.

"I'm going in" James said

"Wait maybe we should let him cool off" Logan said concerned for James in case Carlos had another outburst.

"Logan I'm not going to stand here watching him when we could be comforting him, he needs us now more than ever" James said as he twisted the door knob and pushed the door open.

Logan and James entered the room and Carlos quickly shot up from his sitting position.

'Don't you know to knock" he said annoyed that Logan and Janes had barged in.

"Carlos buddy we-

"NO JAMES DON'T CARLOS BUDDY ME, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" Carlos shouted angrily.

'HEY DON'T BLAME THIS ON US, THIS WAS AN ACCIDENT "Logan said the rage returning to him from the previous argument.

"DON'T BLAME THIS ON US REALLY; WELL IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE YOUR STUPID ASTHMA ATTACK THEN HE WOULDN'T BE LYING HERE!" Carlos shot back pointing to Kendall

"Well I'm sorry ok, I hadn't have an attack in years and I thought I wouldn't need my inhal-

" WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG DIDN'T YOU" Carlos said in a sarky voice

"HEY, there's no need for that, what's gotten into you" James said

"WHATS GOTTEN IN TO ME, WHATS GOTTEN INTO YOU" Carlos said shoving James into the wall and walking out.

"AHHHH" James yelled as he landed awkwardly on his shoulder.

"JAMES" Logan yelled and was by James's side in seconds. James was clutching his shoulder.

**I would carry on but this chapter in becoming extremely looooooong so I'm gonna end it here but I will update soon I promise. REVEIWS PLEASE :)**

**XX Amy**

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	6. Chapter 6

**Hey loved the new BTR episode it was so good anyway thanks for the reviews :) disclaimer: I don't own big time rush which sucks because if I did id marry Logan then Kendall … I would marry Kogan teehee any who enjoy :)**

**"**James calm down breathe with me okay in and out, it's just dislocated. Now I'm gonna find a nurse to pop it back, I'll be right back" Logan said and gave James a tap on the knee and started to walk away.

"N-no Logie don't leave me" James said doing the puppy dog face.

"James I have to go get a nurse "Logan said not wanting to leave his friend.

"c-can't you do it f-for me" James said pleading

"James I'm not a doctor, it has to be done by a professional "Logan said.

"Y-yeah but l-Logie you know what you're doing, you've done it before" James said hoping that Logan would do this for him

"Fine" Logan said giving into James's plead

Logan placed his hands on the front and the back of James's shoulder and at his touch James winced.

"Are you ready?" Logan asked

"As I'll ever be" James said letting another tear fall.

"Okay on three, one two" Logan gave a sharp flick of his wrists on popped it back.

"AHHHH fuck, what the hell happened to three" James said clutching his throbbing shoulder.

"It's better if you don't know it's coming; it hurts less "Logan said back.

"Yeah well it hurt a lot that way" James said still clutching his shoulder

Logan got up from his kneeling position and walked over near Kendall's bed side to a cabinet and started looking through it.

"Logan what are you doing, you're going to get in trouble?" James questioned getting up still holding his shoulder wincing at the pain caused by his movements.

"I'm looking for some sort of bandage so I can make you a sling, aha found something" he said turning back to James

"Logan are you sure you know what you're doing" James questioned as Logan was tying two triangle bandages together.

"You've trusted me this far haven't you" Logan said as he walked over to James and put the bandage round his neck and tied it off.

"True" James agreed

"Now put your arm through here" Logan said opening the whole in the bandage for James to put his arm through.

"Better" Logan asked

"Much thanks Logie" James said

Katie and Mrs Knight entered Kendall's room just as Logan and James were sitting down next to Kendall's bed.

"Hey boys how are you- James what happened and the truth this time" Mrs Knight said sternly.

Logan and James both shot Katie a look.

"Sorry guys" Katie said admitting that she told her mum about Carlos hitting Logan.

Logan and James got up from Kendall's bed side so James could tell Mrs Knight the story to her face.

"Well Logan and i overheard Carlos talking to Kendall, then he started crying so we went in the room to try and comfort him. Then he went crazy and was all like don't you know how to knock, then he started to blame Logan for Kendall being in here and then I was trying to defend Logan and he got mad at me pushed me into that wall over there and left. That's how my shoulder got dislocated then Logan popped it back for me" James said

"Aww sweetie I'm sorry, do you know where Carlos is now?" Mamma Knight asked.

"No sorry he just left, he didn't say where he was going "Logan said

"Well the doctor said you boys can stay if you want but I'm going to take Katie home, but I will be back in the morning "she said sweetly

"Ok mama knight, also can you tell us if you see Carlos I'm still worried about him" Logan said

"Sure thing sweetie" Mrs Knight said kissing Logan and James on the forehead.

Mrs Knight walked over to her son " I love you Kendall ,please wake up soon , Katie needs you, I need you, your best friends need you" she whispered and let a hot tear roll down her face. Mrs Knight wiped away before anyone saw well at least that's what she thought.

Mrs Knight and Katie left, so it was just Logan James and Kendall.

"James" Logan said breaking the silence

"Yeah Logie" James said

"I don't think Mrs Knight is coping very well" Logan said getting straight to the point

"What makes you say that? "James asked

"She was crying when she was saying goodbye to Kendall, I just think this last year has been really hard for her and now it's just got too much" Logan said

"Well let's just hope for the best" James said walking over to Kendall. "Come-on buddy the quicker you wake up the quicker things can go back to normal" James said wiping Kendall's bangs from his eyes.

Logan walked over to the other side of Kendall's bed and sat down on the opposite chair to James.

"Carlos is right" Logan mumbled, but enough for James to hear

"What? "James said back

"It's my fault Kendall's in here" Logan said looking at the ground

"Logan Carlos was wrong; don't let anyone tell you diff—

"No James don't defend him, I'm supposed to be the smart one, I should have brought my inhaler even though I hadn't has an attack in years, i-it's all m-my fault" Logan said breaking down in tears.

"Logan' James said walking over to him, he put his good arm round Logan. " snap out of it Carlos has been a jerk lately , and not just to you everyone look what he did to my arm, he should be ashamed of himself , he hasn't been a very good friend to us, none of this is your fault. James said hoping to comfort his smaller friend, but what he didn't know is Carlos was right outside the door and heard everything.

Carlos's POV

I started to feel really guilty about hitting Logan and what about James I didn't even turn around to see if he was okay. Maybe I should go back. I started to walk back to the hospital I looked at my phone the time said 8:30pm id been gone for 2 hours maybe no one wants me to come back. Nobody has even bothered to call me. I walked through the entrance and towards Kendall's room when I got there I could hear crying it sounded like Logan. I put my ear against the door and listened I could hear James talking.

Normal POV

"Carlos has been a jerk lately, and not just to you everyone look what he did to my arm, he should be ashamed of himself, he hasn't been a very good friend to us" Carlos had heard enough, he pulled away from the door and walked away.

**Hope you liked this Chapter I will try and update soon, PLEASE REVIEW! It helps me write quicker :)**

**Xx Amy**


	7. Chapter 7

**I saw backstage rush the other day and it was so funny the slow motion running bit hehe yada yada yada . Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush … Enjoy**

Carlos couldn't believe what he had just heard James and Logan really didn't want him around.

'Maybe its best if I'm not around, they don't need me" Carlos whispered to himself and kept on walking to he came to a stop in front of a familiar place. The Palmwoods.

He walked towards the elevator and decided it was taking too long and took the stairs. He walked to the front of 2J and opened the door and walked inside.

"Carlos sweetie your home, can I speak with you for a second "Mrs Knight said sweetly wanting to talk to Carlos about his behaviour.

"I don't feel too well I'm going to take a shower and go to bed" Carlos said lying

"Oh Okay then well do you need anything? "She said knowing that Carlos was lying but didn't was to cause any fights so she let it slide.

"No thanks" Carlos said walking into the bathroom and locking the door.

As Carlos locked the door he turned around so his back was against the door and slid down until he hit the floor. He buried his face in his hands and started to cry.

Carlos POV

Why I thought to myself, why have I been so selfish and hurt my friends like this, I'm such a dick. "I don't deserve to be here" I whispered.

Normal POV

Carlos got up from the door and walked over to the medicine cabinet his saw several orange pill bottles with a prescription for 'James Diamond' written on the side. Carlos knew that they were James's cancer pills to help with the pain. A thought crossed his mind; I mean James won't need them anymore right? He thought.

Carlos took out his phone and dialled Logan's number, no answer, he hung up and dialled James no answer but decided to leave a message. "Leave a message after the beep" the operator said –beep—

" h-hey" Carlos said with a shaky voice" I'm sorry what I put you , Kendall and Logan through and I didn't mean what I said earlier but I think it's for the best, B-bye " Carlos said putting his phone down on the ground.

Carlos grabbed a glass from under the sink filled it with water and took a deep breath. "It's for the best "he said eyes becoming glossy with tears. Carlos opened the cap off the bottle and tipped the majority of pills into his palm.

Carlos was used to taking pain medication from all of his wreck less stunts gone wrong, he swallowed a few at a time and he could already feel his muscles relaxing, wow James must have been in a lot of pain these are strong he thought to himself. He swallowed the rest of the pills and let himself drop into unconsciousness.

Meanwhile at the hospital.

Logan, James and Kendall were all fast asleep, until Logan's phone went off, well at lest he thought it was his phone he looked over and it was James's that had made a noise. Logan always was a light sleeper.

Logan picked up the phone and it said '1 new message and 1 new voicemail' he unlocked the phone and clicked on the message from Mama Knight "boys, don't worry Carlos is home he got in about 10 minutes ago, see you soon xx mama.

"Oh thank god" Logan said to himself deciding whether to wake James and tell him Carlos's is home, he decided to. "James, James" Logan said nudging James on his good shoulder.

"w-what's going on, did Kendall wake up?" James said getting excited.

"Err no" Logan said

"Then why did you wake me up for?" James said annoyed that it wasn't something important that he got woken up for.

"Mama Knight texted she said Carlos came home" Logan said

"Oh well that's good news isn't it" James said sarcastically

"Don't be upset I'm sure he didn't mean it he just needs time to cool off, by the way here's your phone back" Logan said tossing James his phone.

"You took my phone?" James asked

"Well your phone went off and it woke me up" Logan said back

"Oh okay" James said

"I just figured it might be Mama Knight and it was, and also you have a voicemail" Logan said remembering about the voicemail.

"A voice mail?" who would be calling at this time of night" James wondered.

James clicked on the voice mail and pressed loud speaker " H-hey, " I'm sorry what I put you , Kendall and Logan through and I didn't mean what I said earlier but I think it's for the best, B-bye" -beep- beep- beep. James ended the voice mail and him and Logan just sat there and stared at each other.

"CARLOS" James said

Snapping back to reality. "What does he mean I think it's for the best" James said and looking at Logan expecting an answer but he didn't he just sat there.

James got up out of his seat and walk over Logan and stood right in front of him " Logan " still no answer so James tried again ' Logan what does it mean"

Logan shot up out of his seat and stood there like he was sleep walking, then he finally spoke up.

"WE HAVE TO GET TO THE PALMWOODS" he said startling James by his sudden outburst.

"Logan what's he gonna do" James said hoping he wasn't thinking what Logan was thinking.

"Come on James "Logan said grabbing James by his good arm and dragging him out the door.

James and Logan Started sprinting as fast as they could Logan leading the way and James trying to keep up. Even though James was the fastest runner his sling was slowing him down a lot and he was struggling to keep up with Logan.

They finally made it to the Palmwoods and burst through the lobby doors and straight up the stairs to 2J. They didn't bother to wait for Mrs Knight to open the door Logan and James used their adrenaline rush to kick down the door.

"MRS KNIGHT, MRS KNIGHT" Logan shouted

"What what is it" Mrs Night said coming out of her room panicking at the way Logan shouted her name.

"WHERE'S CARLOS" James said getting frantic

"Last time I saw him he said he was going to have a shower" She said concerned the way the "sons" were acting.

James and Logan both turned to each other and gave each other a look with wide eyes. Then they bolted towards the bathroom door and started pounding on it.

"CARLOS OPEN UP" Logan shouted

"PLEASE WE JUST WANT TO TALK" James shouted still pounding on the door with Logan and decided it was taking too long.

"On three" James said giving Logan you know what I mean look

Logan nodded and backed up from the door.

"one, two, three "James said as he and Logan charged towards the door and the door fell down to ground exposing the most shocking sight no-one would ever want to witness.

Carlos was on the floor , violently shaking the tremors taking over his body.

**I'm so mean putting these boys through this.. Am I putting too much drama in this story or do you guys like? REVEIWS PLEASE :)**

**XX Amy**


	8. Chapter 8

**So I have decided to write a new story but I have no idea (hehe that's ironic, anyone get it?) where to begin so any ideas that you guys have would be appreciated or requests. Disclaimer: I don't own BTR. Enjoy :)**

Mrs Knight stood there with her hands cupped over her mouth.

"Hey what's all the commotion—"Katie took one look at Carlos and broke down

"James get them out of here, and come help me "Logan said trying to keep calm

James grabbed Mrs Knight and Katie and took them to the couch.

"Katie look at me, I need you to call an ambulance and try and keep your mum calm can you do that for me?" James said.

Katie nodded "at it girl" James said giving Katie a forehead kiss and patting mama knight on the back.

"JAMES!" Logan said finding it hard to keep Carlos pinned down, to reframed him from hurting himself.

"I'm coming" James said who was also having difficulties pinning Carlos down with only one arm.

"Did you call an ambulance?" Logan asked

"Katie's doing it now" James said

" i-I can't believe Carlos would do s- something like this, did we really make him feel this bad that he would want t-to , to end h-his life" Logan said who was now in tears.

Carlos had now stopped shaking and was a ghostly white colour; he had a thin layer of sweat covering the exposed parts of his body. Logan put two fingers on Carlos's wrist feeling for a pulse.

"It's there's b-but its weak "Logan said to James

"I don't think he's going to make it" James said glancing at the pill bottles.

"James don't think like that there's still hope" Logan said hoping for the best that the paramedics would arrive soon.

"LOGAN be realistic, look at the bottles" James said shoving the bottles in Logan's face.

"Your cancer medication?" Logan said knowing exactly what that meant.

"Yes Logan and this stuff is strong trust me and I'm double his size" James said

"Oh my g-god, o-our little c-carlitos, w-what have y-you d-done" Logan said letting a hot tear roll down his face.

By this point James was by his side cradling Logan in his arms even though Logan was leaning on James's bad arm and making it throb, James couldn't care less as long as it was making Logan feel a little better, but this didn't last long because they were pushed out the way by paramedics for the second time today.

The paramedics loaded Carlos onto the stretcher and attached an IV to his arm.

"Come on kid stay with us" one paramedic said as they were walking out the door.

'wait can we come he needs us" James said still trying to keep everyone calm but was failing. Mrs Knight, Katie's and Logan were all in hysterics crying.

"No time pal, were sorry" The other paramedic said.

James huddled everyone into a group hug. "Stay strong guys' he's going to pull through this is Carlos we are talking about, I mean look at all the wreck less stunts he's done and we haven't lost him yet and it's not going to happen now." James said hoping to soothe his family.

"Come- on let's get to the hospital" James said as he grabbed the car keys and gave them to Logan, because it would be hard driving with his arm in a sling. "You okay to drive buddy? "He asked Logan who had seemed to calm down a lot since James's little pep talk.

"y-yeah" Logan said his voice hoarse from crying

"Where are you going" Katie said as James was walking towards his and Carlos's shared room.

"I'm going to grab a few things for when Kendall and Carlos wake up" James said and disappeared into his room.

"Let's get you to the car" Logan said helping Mrs Knight up from the couch, Logan was starting to worry about her she hadn't said a thing since she saw Carlos lying there.

Five minutes later James came out of Logan and Kendall's shared room he had already packed for Carlos. James had a duffle bag filled with Carlos's and Kendall's favourite thing such as a new issue of Kendall's favourite hockey magazine and Carlos's helmet.

He locked up in 2J and walked out to the parking lot to find Logan, Mama Knight and Katie already sitting in the car. James hopped in the backseat with Katie and off they went. The car trip took forever considering that the hospital was only 15 minutes away. They pulled into the car park and walked in the main entrance this place was becoming far too familiar they all thought.

Mrs Knight took the initiative and walked up to the front desk. "Carlos Garcia" she said

'Ahh yes level 3, room 186' she said.

They all breathed a sigh of relief at least that meant he was alive and stable if he was allowed visitors.

"Thank you" Mrs Knight said sounding happier that she knew her 'son' was alive.

They took the elevator to level 3, and the first thing that every one noticed was a giant sign saying psychiatric ward rooms 103-202 with an arrow pointing left.

'Oh Carlos, what have you gotten yourself into" Logan said.

"Shhhhh" James said annoyed that Logan would say that about his friend.

"You're the one that told me to be realistic, remember" Logan shot back

"BOYS" Mrs Knight said getting their attention." Let's not start anything, were in a big enough of a sticky situation as it is" she finished

"You're right, I'm sorry man" James said putting his good hand for Logan to shake.

"Yeah me too, sorry dude" Logan gladly shook his hand and they both pulled into a 'man hug'.

They followed the signs to Carlos's room and walked in he looked so peaceful and relaxed, even if there was a big tube in his throat.

'You must be Mr Garcia's family" The doctor said.

They all turned around startled by the doctor's sudden appearance.

"How is he doc?" James asked being the first one to speak.

"Well these next 24 hours are critical he's not out of the woods yet, you see that tube down his throat" They nodded. "well that is helping him breathe due to swelling in the throat and chest Carlos is unable to breathe on his own , but we are keeping a close eye on him" The doctor said as he picked up his clip board and started scribbling some notes on it and glancing at Carlos every so often.

**Sorry if you guys thinks there's too much drama I couldn't help myself… Please Review :)**

**Xx Amy**


	9. Chapter 9

**Ayo! How's everybody doing? I just thought I would let you know that I have been having a bit of writers block lately does anyone know how to cure writers block? Any ways disclaimer: I do not own big time rush… Enjoy :)**

-Buzz- buzz- Logan's eyes slowly opened he looked at his phone 12:02pm wow he must have slept in he saw his notifications button flash he clicked on it one new message from Camille. Logan opened the message "Logan I saw the ambulance last night I hope everything is ok there are lots of rumours going round , talk soon xoxo ~C" Logan smiled Camille always finished her texts with xoxo and a C, he thought it was cute and sent back a text.

"Talk soon, be safe x ~ L" Logan put his phone in his pocket and stood up.

'Ah" Logan winced at the pain his stiff neck was causing him, he looked around the room he saw Carlos till in his bed thank god he thought. And Mrs Knight and Katie huddled up together fast asleep, but no James.

Logan felt a hand on his shoulder, he turned around it was James.

"Couldn't sleep" Logan asked a very tired looking James.

"Obvious huh?" James said back

"You look terrible, no offence" Logan said knowing that James always takes stuff to heart.

"I was up all night back and forth between Carlos's and Kendall's rooms." James said yawning.

"Well I was just about to go and see Kendall wanna come?" Logan asked

"Sure "James said

Logan and James walked down the hall towards Kendall's room when they spotted paparazzi.

"Oh shit" James said

"What?" Logan said back

"Paparazzi, this way let's make a run for it" James said finding another way to Kendall's room.

"Okay there surrounding Kendall's room either way, we are going to have to make a run for it" Logan said

"1, 2, 3 go" James said dashing towards Kendall's door.

Logan and James started rushing towards the door but the paparazzi surrounded them shoving microphones and camera in their faces.

"Logan is it true Kendall is paralysed" one reporter said

"James is big time rush splitting up" another reporter said accidently whacking into James hurt shoulder.

"Ahh" James said clutching his shoulder

"BACK AWAY FROM MY JAMIE!" Logan shouted hitting the camera out of their faces and on to the floor.

Logan gently pushed James inside Kendall's room and closed the door.

"Thanks L-Logie, I have n-never seen you so a-angry" James said through gritted teeth.

"He was hurting my friend, how's your shoulder?" Logan said concerned about his friend.

"Sore "James said

"That's expected "Logan said walking over to Kendall's bedside

"What are we gonna tell Kendall when he wakes up?" James asked

"The truth" Logan said

"And what exactly is that?' James asked wanting to know exactly what they were going to say.

"Were going to tell him that Carlos tried to kill himself and is now in a coma, his Mum is completely distraught, and his best friends are not handling this well." Logan said holding back the tears.

"Everything is going to turn out okay, Kendall's going to walk again, Carlos is going to wake up he's going to make it through the night "James said walking over to Logan and bringing him into a one armed hug.

While James and Logan were sharing a hug, Kendall was starting to stir but they didn't notice, until a shallow voice broke the silence.

"g-guys" Kendall said weakly barely able to keep his eyes open.

Logan and James quickly released out of each other's grip and there attention quickly turned to Kendall. James and Logan at either side of the bed.

"h-hey buddy it's me Logan" Logan said as a small smile crept onto his face.

"It's us Kenny how you feeling?" James said as he also let a smile crawl on to his face, but that soon disappeared when he saw Kendall's face and how it was twisted with pain.

Logan noticed this too.

"Kenny do you want us to call a doctor" Logan said concerned for his friend.

"h-hurts" Kendall panted heavily, breaths becoming heavier.

"JAMES CALL A DOCTOR HES HAVING A PANIC ATTACK" Logan said getting stressed.

"You're going to have one too if you don't calm down" James said pressing the call button for the doctor.

"Okay Kendall just breathe with us, in and out" James said trying to Keep Logan calm as well.

Shortly after a doctor and a nurse came rushing in.

"Okay boys can you tell me what happened?" The doctor said calmly.

"Well Logan and i were um... talking then he started to wake up and he said it hurts then he started breathing really heavy and then he was having a panic attack" James said.

"He should be fine, we just gave him something to relax, and I will give him a thuro examination when he's awake. "The doctor said and left.

"See I told you everything would turn out alright" James said with a smile

"Let's go tell Mrs Knight, Kendall's awake" Logan said.

Logan and James left a sleeping Kendall, and went back towards Carlos's room,luckly the paparazzi had gone because James was scared Logan might beat the living daylights out of them.

They walked in to find a sobbing Katie and Mrs Knight.

"What happened?" Logan asked

"What's wrong?" James added

"It's Carlos…

**Looks like James spoke too soon? That's right I went there, I stopped it, I will update soon I promise, until then astalavista…. Please review * does puppy dog face***

**Xx Amy**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey hey hey I'm back with chapter 10 I don't know if I should continue on or stop it soon so tell me what you think , Disclaimer: I don't own big time rush. Enjoy :)**

"What do you mean its Carlos, what wrong with him" James asked his eyes becoming blurry with tears.

Katie cried even harder when James asked the question.

"KATIE, what is it' James said getting impatient

"James gives her a minute" Logan said walking over to Katie and wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay Katie whenever you're ready" Logan said pulling a lose piece of hair behind her ear.

"They said if Carlos doesn't wake up soon there gonna turn off his machine" Katie said breaking out into tears again.

"WHAT no, no, no, no, no L-Logan they can't "James said pacing back and forth,

Logan just sat there with Katie and Mama Knight and cried properly for the first time since James first got cancer and everything turned bad. Logan remembered the last time he cried like this was when his dad died and he and his mum moved to Minnesota that's where he met Kendall, James and Carlos.

After about 20 minutes of solid crying Logan was ready to talk. "I don't understand they didn't turn off Kendall's machine, so why are they turning Carlo's off?" James asked Logan.

Carlos's doctor walked into the room and had obviously heard James's question because he answered for Logan.

"That's because Kendall's situation the medication and seriousness of the surgery made him go into a coma and that's common in spine surgery, in Carlos's situation he did this too himself and the pills he took, and the amount he took caused his body to go into shock therefore slipping into a coma which in these case's it's very rare for the patient to come out of." The doctor said and adjusted a few wires and cables and left the room.

Logan finally spoke up "Carlos's case is different he will wake up" Logan said his voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Logan you don't know tha-

"HE WILL, James he has too, he has too" Logan said letting another tear slide down his face he was surprised he had any tears left.

"We have to tell Kendall" James said, not wanting to make Logan cry even more but he knew it had to be said.

"I know" Logan said getting up out of his seat.

Logan and James walked to Kendall's room and stoped at the door.

"It's now or never" James said urging Logan to go inside.

James and Logan both let out a sigh of relief when they walked in as Kendall was still asleep.

James and Logan were just about to leave when Kendall started to stir, he was waking up.

"Hmm rmmmm log-n… jam-s" Kendall mumbled.

"Yeah were here" Logan said only just understanding what Kendall was saying.

"It's us buddy "James said joining Logan at Kendall's bedside.

"How are you feeling?, can you move? "Logan asked.

"s-sore and i-I can move" Kendall said not wanting to open his eyes

"That's expected you had major spine surgery man" James said letting out a sigh of relief that Kendall could move.

"Guys what happened to you and where's Carlos?" Kendall said a little more awake.

"Oh don't worry about us; you sound tired Kenny why don't you get some sleep "Logan said.

James shot Logan a look as if to say 'oh way to go captain obvious'.

"Logan you didn't answer my question" Kendall said forgetting about the pain in his back and letting the concern and worry take over. Kendall knew something was wrong by the look in his friend's eyes.

"Kendall you have to promise not to freak out otherwise you'll have another panic attack and have to be sedated again" Logan said sternly and looking straight into Kendall's big green eyes.

What Logan had just said and the way he said it scared Kendall, but Kendall understood, he nodded.

James swallowed the lump in his throat. "Carlos's tried to kill himself"

Kendall became silent trying to control himself from not having another outburst; Logan could see this and helped him by rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"It's a good job you woke up when you did" James said not wanting to Kendall the next part.

"What do you mean?" Kendall said calmer now.

Logan had decided this had gone on far enough and Kendall had heard enough for now." JAMES… Don't you think Kendall would like to get some rest now" Logan said giving him the quit while you're at it look.

"NO Logan, you guys are my best friends and you shouldn't hide things from your friends" Kendall said.

"Fine, Kendall if you really want to know, There going to turn of Carlos's life support, if he doesn't wake up" Logan said tears pricking his eyes. "I'm going to get some air" Logan added and walked outside.

"Logan wait" Kendall said but Logan carried on walking.

"Don't worry he'll be back, he's been on edge all day" James said to Kendall.

About 5 minutes later Logan returned to Kendall's room and walked in to find Kendall and no James.

"Where's James?" Logan asked

"He went to the bathroom" Kendall said wincing at the pain as he tried to get comfy.

"Look Kendall I just wanted to apologize about bef-

"Its fine Logan James explained everything" Kendall said using the bed controller to move the bed in the sitting position.

"Errm Kendall I don't think you should be doing that" Logan said his eyes widening when Kendall swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up using the Bedside table as a support.

"Yeah Logan maybe you should come over here any help me…, NOW" Kendall said not being able to hold his weight for long.

Logan took action quickly rushing over to Kendall and supporting his weight by putting his arms around Kendall's waist.

"Thanks Logan" Kendall said

"No problem" Logan said guiding Kendall towards his bed

"No" Kendall said as Logan nudged him towards his bed.

"What! Am i a hurting you" Logan said easing up on his grasp around Kendall.

"No its fine but I don't want to go back to bed, help me to that wheel chair over their" Kendall said pointing to the wheel chair.

James walked in and was abit shocked at the picture he saw in front of him Kendall holding onto Logan because he was unable to support himself and Logan finding it hard to support himself and Kendall.

"Umm are you guys okay?" James said raising one eyebrow.

"NO!" Kendall and Logan both said at the same time.

"So get over here and help us" Logan said getting worked up

"Feisty aren't we? "James said finding humour in the moment.

"JAMES" Logan and Kendall said together again.

"Okay okay" James said walking over there and lifting some of the weight off Logan.

"Help me put him in that wheelchair" Logan said

James and Logan helped Kendall into the wheelchair.

"Thanks guys" Kendall said panting through the new wave of pain." Can you take me to Carlos now?" Kendall asked.

'I don't know Kendall I don't think you're supposed to be out of bed let alone leave your room" Logan said stepping into the motherly role.

"Please guys" Kendall said doing the puppy dog face; his sparkling green eyes were hard to say no too.

"Fine "they said together.

They wheeled Kendall down the hall and towards Carlos's room; Kendall must have noticed the psychiatric ward sign because he muttered something underneath his breath just loud enough for James and Logan to hear.

James laid a comforting hand on Kendall's shoulder as they approached Carlos room.

**20+ Review's thanks so much guys I really appreciate it. Well keep it up REVEIWS PLEASE! :)**

**Xx Amy**


	11. Chapter 11

**So I'm running out of ideas for chapters, a guest said something about James's cancer returning what do you think, I need help ?Disclaimer: I don't own big time rush.. Enjoy :)**

"Hey it's okay buddy" James said because he could see Kendall was getting a little nervous,

The door knob turned and the boys entered," Dam it" James muttered as he saw Carlos still lying there.

"What's wrong James?" Logan asked because he heard what James has whispered.

"He's still in a coma "James said

"I Know but don't lose hope there's still a chance that-

"How long?" Kendall said interrupting Logan

"What Kenny? 'Logan said

"How long before they turn his machine off?" Kendall said.

"They said they will give him until the end of the week" James said,

"3 DAYS, HES GOT THREE DAYS" Kendall said shouting, also waking up his mum and Katie in the process.

"Oh my god Kendall" Katie said rushing over to Kendall giving him a hug.

"AHH k-Katie c-could you ease u-up a bit, I'm really sore" Kendall said through gritted teeth.

'Sorry big brother, I didn't mean to" Katie said feeling really bad.

"It's okay" Kendall said accepting his sister's apology.

"Kendall sweetie you're awake, I'm so relived' Mrs Knight said crying with tears of joy as she kissed her son on the forehead.

"m-mummy "James and Logan were shocked they only knew that Kendall only called his mum mummy when he was really scared.

"Yes sweetheart" She said wiping his bangs from his eyes.

"Do you think he's going to wake up?' Kendall said

"Well sweetie you have to be realistic and it's times like these tha-

"I don't want to be realistic, i-I just w-want him to w-wake up" Kendall said letting the tears fall from his eyes.

"I Know we just have to be patient" Mrs Knight said hoping to soothe her son.

"You guys should go home and get some rest" Kendall said to his mum and sister because he could see how run down they looked.

"Okay sweetie just call us imeadently if you need something" Mrs Knight said knowing Kendall wouldn't back down until they rested so she gave in straight away.

"I will mum" Kendall said

Mrs Knight and Katie left and then it was just the four boys.

"You know they say if you talk to a comatose person it helps them wake up" Logan said his knowledge coming in handy.

"Yeah I think Logan's right, we talked to you, all of us" James added to Logan's statement.

"Really?" Kendall said hope in his eyes for the first time since he had woken up.

"Yeah"Logan and James said at the same time.

"Ahh Mr Knight, I thought I would find you here "Kendall's doctor said as he walked into the room. " Out of bed I see?"

'Ugh yeah" Kendall said.

"Can he stay here, with Carlos "James asked

"I will see what I can do" The doctor said with a smile and walked out.

About 30 minutes later a doctor followed by a few nurses walked in with a bed and a few machines." Okay Mr Knight we will set up these machines and then we will run a few tests before finally taking you up to physical therapy" The doctor said nicely.

'okay" Kendall mumbled deciding whether to ask the next question or not.

"Um do you think he's going to wake up" Kendall asked the doctor

"Well son I'm actually not his doctor but I will take a look" The doctor said picking up Carlos's cart on the end of the bed he skimmed through a few pages and looked up at Kendall "Well I'm sorry to say this but it's not looking good son, I'm sorry" He said with sympathy in his voice.

The doctor helped Kendall into bed and did a few simple movement tests and hooked him up to a few machines " A nurse will be in shortly to take you up to therapy" The doctor said as he left the room leaving the boys alone.

Carlos's and Kendall's beds were close enough that Kendall could reach Carlos's hand. Kendall took Carlos's hand in his.' Hey, how you holding up , well i just thought I would let you know that were waiting for you buddy, they say talking helps so I thought i would give it a shot because Logan and James said you talked to me you helped me and now I'm going to help you, I promise" Kendall said letting a tear fall.

By this point Logan and James were fully tuned into the one way conversation that Kendall was having with Carlos.

'errm Kendall I don't think you should make promises that you might not be able to keep" Logan said trying to be optimistic.

"I will keep it he is going to wake up" Kendall said not giving up.

"Look Kendall I see where your coming from but Logan's just trying to be realistic" James said hoping Kendall would understand.

"I understand were your coming from, it's just I don't want to lose hope" Kendall said hoping his friends would understand.

"I know pal, I know" James said.

"James when you were in the hospital with your cancer and we didn't think you'd pull through, I used to sneak into the hospital every night and visit you hoping you would make it just one more day" Kendall had to stop he was tearing up and really didn't want to start crying.

"It's okay Kenny" James said he and Logan walked over to Kendall and pulled him into an awkward group hug.

"My point is I never lost hope or gave up" Kendall said holding the tears back.

"Kendall is it?" A nurse said walking in on the boys group hug. The BTR boys all blushed.

"Hum hum Yeah" Kendall said clearing his throat.

"I'm going to take you down to therapy now are you ready?" She said politely.

"Uh yeah is it okay if I bring a friend" Kendall asked

"I guess so "she replied

"Kendall sat there wondering who to choose but that's when James spoke up "you and Logan go I won't be much help with just one arm and plus someone need to stay with Carlos you know keep him company" James said with a smile.

**So what did you think? I had a lot of writers block with this chapter so that's why it took so long,I hope it turned out okay. Please review (please)... ;)**

**Xx Amy**


	12. Chapter 12

**Firstly I would like to thank all the people who have reviewed and followed my story and second I would like to give credit to' BigTimeRush-BTR' who gave me a great idea and I'm going to base a section of this chapter on that idea so thankyou a million.. Disclaimer I don't own big time rush.. Enjoy :)**

"Okay so if could just wheel Kendall in there and I will be in, in a minute" The nurse said kindly.

"Kendall are you okay you've been quite ever since we left Carlos's room?' Logan asked

"I'm fine I just want to get this therapy over and done with" Kendall said

"Okay Kendall first of all I would like you to stand up as straight as you can" The nurse said walking into the room.

Kendall pushed himself up using the arms of the wheelchair and got as far as he could but his back protested and he fell back down wincing.

"Dam it" Kendall muttered under his breath just loud enough for Logan to hear.

"Good job Kendall now let's try it with a brace" The nurse said holding up this bright red back brace.

"Logan if you wouldn't mind helping Kendall up straight while I put this brace on" The nurse said

"Sure "Logan said helping Kendall up while the nurse put the brace on.

"It's not too tight is it?" she asked politely

"No it's just fine" Kendall said sarcasm evident in his voice.

"Kendall!" Logan exclaimed finding his friends remark rude when the nurse was just trying to help.

"You know what I think that's enough for today I will leave you two alone" She said and left.

Kendall got up holding onto one of the frames nearby and started walking, well as best as he could more like hobbling.

"Kendall what do you think you're doing?" Logan asked watching Kendall's pained expression.

"My therapy session" Kendall replied gripping the frame so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"Kendall I can see your in pain, so sit down take a break" Logan said concerned for his friend.

"Ever heard the expression no pain no gain" Kendall shot back

"Kendall seriously you need to take a bre-

"Ahh" Kendall yelled falling to the ground.

"KENDALL!" Logan shouted and ran over to his friend.

"L-Logie" Kendall panted

Kendall sat there being cradled by Logan and cried his eyes out until he had calmed down.

"How are you holding up?" Logan finally asked after about 40 minutes of silence.

"Well I'm in a lot of pain" Kendall replied his voice croaky from crying.

"I wasn't talking about your back, and you know it" Logan said.

"Logan it's all my fault" Kendall spoke up.

'Huh?" Logan said not quite sure what Kendall was talking about.

" If I has have been more careful and got to you quicker you wouldn't have been in hospital and then I would have hurt myself then Carlos wouldn't be here and- i- I" Kendall couldn't finish he was too upset.

"Oh Kenny none of this is your fault, you hear me, one of it , come here" Logan said pulling Kendall into a hug.

"I'm s-supposed to b-be the leader and h-help you guys and – a-all I have d-done is let y-you guys d-down" Kendall said in-between sobs.

"Shhhhh it's okay, I'm here" Logan said an attempt to comfort Kendall.

**Meanwhile**

The room was silent as James sat there and stared at Carlos. A million thoughts were rushing through James's mind. 'If I didn't leave those pills he might be awake right now". Blame it was all James could think about. Maybe it was his fault.

James walked over to the duffle bag and grabbed out Carlos's helmet he walked back over to the bed. 'Here buddy I brought you something" James said placing the helmet on his bed. "I would put it on your head but the bandage is stopping me, you know you hit your head pretty hard" James said letting a tear fall as he remembered how Carlos had hit his head while he was seizing.

"You know I went to the shop this morning they released bio hazard battle blast 6 crotchey's revenge and I thought when you wake up we could play it" Carlos's machine started to beat a little faster. "C-Carlos can you hear me?" The machine went back to a normal pace. "They say if you don't wake up by tomorrow there going t-to to turn o-off your machine, so If you can here me please you need to wake up".

Kendall and Logan returned to the room and Logan helped Kendall back into bed.

"So how did therapy go?" James asked

"Fine" Kendall said not wanting to make eye contact "I'm tired" Kendall stated looking up finally.

"How about you get some rest and we will wake you up if there's any change' Logan said

"Sounds good to me" Kendall said rolling over and closing his eyes.

After Kendall had fallen asleep and after short awkward silence was over James spoke up.

" Is Kendall okay what happened at therapy?" James questioned

"He had a breakdown and started to blame everything on himself" Logan said

"You told otherwise right? "James said

"Of course but he wouldn't listen" Logan said

"Maybe I should talk to him" James said getting up, but swayed as a wave of dizziness hit him.

"Whoa here sit down you okay dude?" Logan said grabbing James and helping him sit down.

"Y-yeah I don't know what I happened it just came over me all of a sudden" James said sitting down and holding his head.

"Maybe I should get a doctor" Logan said really worried for his friend.

"It's okay I feel fine no-"James was cut off by his own heaving, as he emptied the contents of his stomach on to the floor

"Oh my god James" Logan said rubbing soothing circles on James back. And it was no until James had finished throwing up that he and Logan realized that it was not just food that James was throwing up it was blood.

**So what did you guys think of that chapter? please review it makes me happy.**

**Xx Amy**


	13. Chapter 13

**So I'm really excited about this chapter hope everyone enjoys it. Disclaimer I don't own big time rush! Enjoy :)**

James collapsed onto the floor and sat shaking in his own vomit.

'L-Logie I t-think you s-should get that doctor n-now" James said the colour completely drained from his face.

Logan ran outside of the room and down the hall trying to find a nurse or doctor, his eyes darting in all directions, he fell to his knees and started breathing heavily "no not now" he thought to himself. A young nurse noticed this and put down the paper work she was carrying and ran over to Logan and bent down to his level, which at this point was clutching his chest.

"Sweetie I need you to take deep breaths and try and tell me your name" The nurse said trying to calm the teen down.

"L-Loga-an" He panted out between breaths

"Okay Logan what's wrong?, is it your chest?" She said remaining clam.

"m-my frie-nd h-he- "Logan let out a harsh barking cough and the nurse knew straight away that he had asthma.

"Help can I get a gurney over here!" The nurse shouted and a few seconds later another nurse came rushing over with one.

"His names Logan approx. 15-16, having and asthma attack, give him a dose of corticosteroids, it's okay sweetie were going to help you" The nurse said wheeling the bed towards an empty room.

Once Logan was gave the medicine he could feel his airways opening up again, after a minute or two of deep breaths he pulled the IV out of his arm and stood up.

"Whoa Logan you can't get out of bed yet" The nurse said helping him back down.

"No you don't understand my friend, he's sick and he need medical attention NOW" Logan said attempting to get up again.

"Where's your friend?" The nurse asked

"I will show you" Logan said in a desperate attempt for the nurse to let him go.

"No you won't, you have to rest" She said

"Please he needs me he's scared "Logan said with pleading eyes.

"Fine come on" the nurse said half smiling.

Logan stood up and let the nurse to Carlos's room where James lay where Logan had left his only he was unconscious now.

"J-Jamie come on open your eyes" Logan said tapping the side of James's face.

"Logan?' James said squinting at the harsh hospital lights.

The nurse ran out to go and get a doctor.

"I thought y-you left me" James said his words slurring slightly.

Logan let out a half sigh half whimper at what James had just said." N-no no I would never do that Jamie" Logan said brushing James's hair out of his eyes.

"Here he is "The nurse said pointing to James on the floor. A doctor came in and bent down and put his stethoscope on James chest.

"L-logie I don't feel t-to good" James whimpered out.

"Are you going to be sick again?" Logan asked

"Ugh huh" James mumbled.

"Abigail can you get me an Emesis Basin quickly" The doctor said.

"The nurse came rushing in with a kidney dish and rested it under James chin just in time for him to empty what was left in his stomach.

"Blood looks arterial, Abigail can you help me take him to that bed" The doctor pointed to the bed next to Carlos's but on the other side of the room.

"Logan is it?'' The doctor asked

"y-yeah"Logan replied.

"Has your friend been ill lately? "The doctor added

"Umm well he had leukaemia, but you don't think its back do you?" Logan asked extremely worried for James.

"I'm not sure, but James having cancer at a young age gives him more of a risk of it coming back in the future, we will have to run some tests" The doctor said hooking James up to a few machines and leaving.

"H-hey"James said as Logan approached him.

"Hey buddy how you feeling?" Logan asked

"Better now I've throw up" James said.

"Look I was talking to the doctor and-

"I know" James said

"Huh?"Logan replied.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out logie, my cancers back" James said fiddling with the hospital blankets not wanting to make eye contact with Logan.

"We don't know that they said there going to run some tests and-

"Its fine Logan I'm okay with it really" James said

"James I don't want you to lose hope, i-I can't l-lose two friends, please" Logan said

"Come here" James said pulling Logan into a hug even thought it was hard with the sling the he was wearing

"Now promise me you won't tell Kendall" James said

"What! " Logan said breaking the hug. "Why"

"Because as you said before this happened he was having a hard time coping and this will only make things worse" James said hoping Logan would understand.

"Fine but you're going to have to tell him eventually" Logan said understanding where james was coming from.

"I know" James said.

"Guys, what's James doing in a bed?" Kendall said who had woken up from his nap.

"Errm" Logan said not sure how to respond.

"Way to go Logan" James said because now he would have to Kendall because Logan made it obvious.

"What's going on? And why are you two in hospital gowns?" Kendall said a little more serious this time.

"Listen Kendall don't freak out" Logan said using hand gestures

"Well you're making me freak out by saying don't freak out" Kendall said fully awake now.

"James, well he, he urm"

"Spit it out Logan" Kendall said

"James'scancermightbeback" Logan said so quickly that Kendall almost didn't hear.

"Logan you never did tell me what happened to you?" James added trying to take some of the attention away from him.

"I had another asthma attack "Logan said sighing looking anywhere but at Kendall and James .

"What Logan you didn't even have them this close together when you were younger" Kendall said

"I know, but I was panicking and James he needed help and-

"It's okay Logan" James said giving Kendall the 'cut the throat' gesture because Logan was starting to panic again.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and and would like to thank everyone who reviews so THANKYOU! I hope I'm not boring anyone and if you have any requests or things you would like to see in this story just let me know and I will see what I can do. Also you guys should check out my new story 'Blessed or Cursed' and tell me what you think. :)**

**Xx Amy**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hope everyone is still enjoying the story. Disclaimer: I don't own big time rush, and also while we're on the subject of BTR who's pumped for their 3****rd**** album? I am. Enjoy :)**

The doctors had moved another bed into Carlos's room so now there were four beds and four sleeping boys in them. Mrs Knight had been called and she was on her way.

"We will notify you imeadently as soon as we get the results, there all resting at the moment" The doctor said.

"Okay thank you very much doctor" Mrs Knight said opening the door to the boys shared room. Mrs Knight's hand went straight to her face. "Oh my baby's, what have you gotten yourself into"

"Mum this is the guys were talking about here, they can handle anything that life throws at them" Katie said trying to comfort her mum.

"Oh sweetie" Mrs Knight said pulling her daughter into a hug.

"Remember the championship hockey final a few years back?" Katie said

"Yeah"Mrs Knight said.

"Well do you remember how we went out to celebrate and the losing team jumped them in the ally and they got beat up real bad" Katie said

"Katie sweetie where are you going with this?" Mrs Knight said

"My point is it took them ages to heal but they got past it, this is just like then" Katie said

"Come on sweetie get some rest well talk about it more in the morning" Mrs Knight said trying to get comfy in the awkward hospital chairs.

Logan and Kendall were both awake but kept their eyes closed not wanting to wake up. Logan heard someone move around in their bed. "James is that you? "Logan asked

"No its Kendall' Kendall sighed

"Todays the day huh?" Logan said

Kendall turned to face Logan. "Why Logan I-I can't be here when they do it" Kendall said stuttering abit.

"Kendall I know this is hard for you, its hard for all of us, but Carlos would want us to be there, we have to for him "Logan said tearing up.

'You know Logan you're a really good friend you know that? "Kendall said

"yeah" Logan said blushing" Now don't get all teary on me" Logan said trying to Lighten up the mood.

Kendall chuckled abit but winced at the pain it brought to his back.

" You alright man?" Logan asked because he hated seeing his friends In pain.

" I will be in a minute" Kendall said through gritted teeth.

"Morning baby's how you feeling? "Mrs Knight said awakening

"Okay I guess" Kendall said

"Fine" Logan said

Mrs Knight could see through the boy's fakeness. "Oh boys I know this is hard for you but we will get through this as a family' She said.

"I just want him to wake up, im mean theres still a chance right?" Kendall said hanging on by a thread.

The room was silent then Mrs Knight got up and walked over to her son.

'Listen sweetie "She said sitting down on Kendall's bed. " There's always a chance but I just don't want you to get your hopes up" Mrs Knight finished Kissing her sons forehead.

There was a knock at the door. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" James doctor said walking in.

"No no we were just finished" Mrs Knight said getting up.

"We just got James's results in, could I see you outside for a minute?" The doctor said.

"Yes" Mrs Knight said walking outside with the doctor.

"He's too young Logan, they both are "Kendall said sitting up.

"I know, hey buddy what are you doing?" Logan said realizing the Kendall was trying to get out of bed.

"Going to the bathroom" Kendall said

Logan quickly ripped the covers off himself and ran over to Kendall "not alone your not" he said putting his arm around Kendall waist.

Kendall started to walk in the opposite direction to Logan.

" Errm Kendall the bathrooms this way" Logan said pointing left

"I know but Carlos's bed is this way" Kendall said

"Kendall you can't keep doing this to yourself " Logan said worried for his friend.

"Logan I just want to see my friend is that such a crime" Kendall said sitting down on a chair next to Carlos's bed.

"You know that's not what I meant" Logan said getting annoyed at Kendall.

"Well how about you tell me what you mean" Kendall said rudely.

"Fine I mean if you don't take care of yourself you going to end up like them" Logan shouted pointing to James and Carlos.

"You can't keep wearing yourself out like this Kendall I mean just look at James" Logan said

Kendall kept his head down looking at the floor.

"LOOK AT HIM KENDALL" Logan yelled his eyes watering up. " I can't lose you as well Logan said letting the tears fall.

"W-What s going on? "James said waking up.

"Nothing" Logan and Kendall said at the same time.

James was about to say something back but Logan started to talk. "How you feeling? 'Logan asked

"Well considering the circumstances Okay I guess" James said.

"That's good "Kendall said.

"Well enough about me, how are you guys doing? 'James asked

"James I'm fine it's you three I'm worried about" Logan said

"Yeah same "Kendall said

"Seriously I'm … is Katie here by herself "James questioned only just realizing Katie was asleep but Mrs Knight was nowhere in sight.

"No Mrs Knight is here she just outside getting you're…" Logan trailed off.

"Getting my what Logan?" James asked

"Your results "Kendall spoke up as clear as day.

"Oh. . . Look guys I know this was hard enough the first time, and it's probably even harder the second but well get through this" James said

"James we haven't got the results yet we don't know for sure" Logan said trying to be optimistic.

Mrs Knight walked in, it looked like she had been crying her eyes were all red and puffy. Logan and Kendall only hoped they were tears of joy. Mrs Knight walked over and sat on the edge of James's bed.

"James honey I'm sorry " She said breaking down in tears and embracing James in a hug.

" NO, NO NO, MAKE THEM TEST AGAIN, THEIR WRONG "Logan shouted storming out the room knocking a chair over in the process and waking Katie up.

** So what did you think?, I was originally going to have Kendall storm out but I wouldn't really work because of his back, was Logan okay to storm off or was it too unlike Logan ? The next update may not be until the weekend because im going away ( don't hate me) . Anyway review please.**

**Xx Amy**


	15. Chapter 15

**So I'm starting to think that people are losing interest in my stories I getting less reviews and visits the more chapters I post :/ anyway disclaimer I don't own big time rush. Enjoy.**

Kendall started to get up but James pushed him down" No dude sit, Ill go" James said.

"James you're sick, I'm fine I'll go" Kendall said trying to get up again.

"Says the boy who can't get up on his own" James said standing up swaying at the dizziness that came over him.

"Fine you win, just get him back here we don't need to be fighting again" Kendall said sighing

James walked slowly so he didn't get dizzy using the rail in the hall to guide him. James wondered down the hall until he found a huddled figure in the corner. He knew it was Logan.

"Hey buddy it's okay I'm okay with it" James said

"No James you shouldn't be I can't lose you too" Logan said turning round his eyes red and irritated.

"Come on lets go back to the room we all need rest" James said offering Logan his hand

Logan took James hand and Logan helped James back to the room. As James and Logan got back to the room, James and Carlos's doctors were standing there James doctor looking mad.

"Mr Diamond you know better" The doctor said crossly

" I told him but he didn't listen" Kendall said smartly.

"Now James if you wouldn't mind hopping back into bed "The doctor said pointing to James bed. Then walked out.

Carlos's doctor grabbed his clipboard and asked Mrs Knight to sign.

"WHAT NO, I won't let you" Kendall said hitting the clip board out of the doctor's hand.

"Kendall Donald Knight! you apologize right now" Mrs Knight said sternly.

"No I won't apologize and I won't let them turn off his machine" Kendall shouted

"Kendall-

"No Logan let me finish, HOW CAN YOU, NO HOW CAN ALL OF YOU SIT BACK AND LET THIS HAPPEN' Kendall screamed.

"KENDALL STOP" James yelled wanting to get Kendall's attention which he did. ' We don't have a choice that machine is the only thing keeping him alive and if we keep it on or turn it off either way he's not waking up" James said admitting the truth to himself and the same time he was telling everyone else.

" I will be back at noon" Carlos's doctor said and left.

Kendall sat there in silence.

"You wanna talk about it?" Logan asked

"There's nothing to talk about" Kendall said

"Well you seem pretty mad a James right now" Logan stated

"You know I right here" James said

"James shhhhh I got this" Logan said

"Listen Kendall I Know we're all going to get through this okay but fighting is not the way" Logan said

"Your right" Kendall said.

Kendall moved his hand towards Carlos's and took his hand in his. "Listen Carlitos your running out of time, so I need you to do me and the guys a huge favour and wake up soon because you only have an hour, p-please" Kendall whimpered.

Logan walked over to the duffle bag James had brought and routed through until he found his wallet, he then walked over to Carlos "I'll be right back buddy." Logan said to Carlos and walked out the room.

A short while later Logan returned with a foam tray covered in foil.

"What's with the foil?" James asked.

"It's not foil its corndogs" Logan said removing the foil.

"But no one like corndogs but Carlos" Katie added

" I know there for Carlos"Logan said

" Yeah but how can he eat them if hes-

" Kendall your missing the point, he can still smell them" Logan said trying to remain hopeful.

" True "Kendall said with a smile.

Everyone in the room had smiles on their faces, but the all turned to frowns when Carlos doctor walked in. Kendall glanced at the clock it was only 11:45.

"It's not 12:00 yet?" Kendall said trying to buy more time for his friend.

"I'm sorry but I'm on a tight schedule and Mr Garcia has made absolutely no progress since he got here "The doctor said

Kendall's eyes welled up with tears " He's too young I really thought he was going to wake up" Kendall said letting the tears fall.

" I truly am sorry" The doctor said pulling the cord out of the machine.

" No no no no no no no" Logan kept mumbling through his sobs.

" No Carlos" Katie cried into her mother's shoulder.

All anyone could hear was the slowed beeping of Carlos's heart monitor.-beep-

" No come on buddy stay with us" Kendall said grasping onto Carlos's hand

-beep-

"We need you" Logan cried

-beeeeeeeeeeep-

"No not like this" James cried

-beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeep-

"I'm sorry" The doctor said pulling a white sheet over Carlos's face. 'Will leave you too say you goodbyes" The doctor stated and left.

"Can you g-guys leave I want t-to be alone p-please" Kendall asked.

No one said anything everyone was too upset, but they all got up and left Kendall Alone with Carlos.

"C-can you d-do me a favour and s-say hi to my d-dad for me" Kendall plonked his head down on to Carlos's bed so he could muffle his loud sobs. Kendall was snapped out of his trance when he felt a finger twitch beneath his hand.

" C-Carlos " Kendall said wiping the tears from his eyes. Kendall thought he saw his friends hand move again.

" HELP , I-I NEED SOME HELP, HE'S ALIVE" Kendall screamed.

**Not as long as my other chapters sorry but heres the big twist is he really alive or is Kendall imagining it ? Review please and tell me should he die or live? **

**Xx Amy**


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you for your continued support I really appreciate it.:) Disclaimer: I don't own big time rush. Enjoy :)**

Logan heard yelling and ran straight back into Carlos's room ' Kendall what is it I heard you scream" Logan said frantically.

" HES ALIVE LOGAN GET A DOCTOR" Kendall yelled by this point everyone was back in the room including the doctor.

" What going on here?" The doctor said pushing past the small crowd.

" HE'S ALIVE "Kendall yelled at the doctor.

" Okay calm down Kenny" James said

"Tell me exactly what happened?" The doctor demanded

" His hand moved" Kendall said

The doctor walked over to Carlos body and checked his pulse, there was none and his body was beginning to lose heat. He was defiantly dead.

" Can someone help me get him out of here" the doctor said grabbing Kendall

" Yeah "Logan said grabbing Kendall's other arm.

The doctor and Logan sat Kendall down on a chair outside ' listen to me Kendall hes dead" The doctor said trying to get through to the frantic teenager.

" NO HES ALIVE HE MOVED" Kendall yelled throwing his arms and legs about, pain shooting up his spine be he ignored it , he was too upset to think about physical pain.

" Kendall listen to the doctor he knows what he's talking about "Logan said also trying to get through to Kendall

" Listen Kendall when you love someone enough and you don't want to let go you sometimes imgine stuff that's not there and that will cause-

" IM NOT CRAZY" Kendall yelled " guys please im not crazy you have to believe me" Kendall said almost in tears

" Stop it Kendall, you need to accept the fact that Carlos is really gone" James said putting his hand on Kendalls shoulder

" James please you have to belive me" Kendall pleaded in tears

"Im sorry Kendall" James said tearing up

" Get off me you,your not my friend, both of you , you think im crazy" Kendall said sweating

The doctor noticed Kendall'symptoms and acted quickly " Kendall if you don't calm down your going to have a panic attack and I will have no choice but to sedate you, now listen carefully I know this is hard for you and your friends but I think its best if you don't go back in there "The doctor said pointing to Carlos's room.

" No I have to finish my goodbye I wasn't finished" Kendall said crying again

" Fine but I need you to calm down first "The doctor said

"Okay just let me see him please" Kendall said trying to control his breathing

" There we are could you two help him back and just call if you need anything I will be back shortly" The doctor said leaving.

"Come on Kenny we can say byb together" Logan said letting a few tears falling thinking about Carlos being really dead.

After the boys has said goodbye they waited in the family waiting room while Katie and Mrs Knight went in. The boys sat in silence for a while.

"I-I cant belive they left the tube in his throat" James said

"Well h-he he's d-dead so why would they bother taking it out" Logan said having difficulty saying that his friends was really dead.

"Stop talking about him like that" Kendall demanded

"Like what?" James asked

"Like he's your dead aunt that you never really liked" Kendall said scowling at James and Logan.

"Kendall we weren't we just-

"No I'm done talking please I just need some time to think" Kendall said burying his head in his hands.

Logan opened his mouth to say something but James gave him the leave him be look. Logan nodded. Katie and Mrs Knight came in shortly and they all went back to Carlos's room except for Kendall. Kendall had other plans.

Kendall tightened his back brace and stood up on his own he hobbled down the hall until he came to a room the had the words morgue printed on it. He opened it and walked in, closing the blinds and locking the door behind him.

Kendall searched through some files until he came across Garcia comma Carlos, he opened it and looked for a number 104, he was about to open the cabinet when he saw a foot sticking out behind a curtain, Kendall pulled back the curtain and Carlos body lay there he had a tag on his big toe that said 104.

Kendall's eyes welled up with tears again seeing his friend like this. Kendall pulled the sheet over his friend not wanting to look at his face but Kendall quickly stopped what he was doing when gaging from underneath the sheet started.

Kendall pulled back the sheet to find Carlos gaging on the tube that the doctor had left in his carefully remove the tube and Carlos moved on from gaging to coughing. Kendall frantically searched the room for a cup aand filled it with water he ran back to Carlos

" Sip this" Kendall said tears falling from his eyes, he pulled Carlos's lips towards the cup and let he sip some.

Carlos had a scared look on his face like he didn't know or trust Kendall.

" K-Ken-Kend-dal?" Carlos said forcing the words out his voice was so hoarse that it scared Kendall.

' y-yeah its me buddy" Kendall said

" W-why are y-you crying?" Carlos asked

" I thought you were d-dead" Kendall forced the last word out

"H-hurts" Carlos panted holding his stomach

" What hurts Carlos?" Kendall asked worriedly

" Im so c-cold k-k-kendall"Carlos said shivering and holding his stomach and squeezing his eyes shut.

" What hurts buddy?" Kendall asked panicked now

" My tummy" Carlos said closing his eyes even tighter.

"Okay hold on im going to get some help" Kendall said

" Wait d-don't leave m-me"Carlos said shaking

" I have to get someone for you" Kendall said despratly not wanting to leave his friend.

" t-take me w-with y-you" Carlos said wraping the thin sheet around him

" Are you sure?" Kendall asked

" y-ye-ss" Carlos said shivering again.

Kendall knew he shouldn't be lifting any weight with his back but he also knew that if he didn't help Carlos , well he didn't know what would happen and he didn't want to find out. Kendall wraped Carlos in a few bed sheets and Carried him throught the halls shouting for help but no one was there his vision started to blur.

" Come stay awake Kendall for Carlos" Kendall said under his breath.

Kendall couldn't take it any more he could see spots and his back was throbbing Carlos's weight was becoming too much, he let the darkness in and fell to the floor making sure he fell first to protect Carlos.

**What do you think please review sorry for the late update I will try and update by the end of the week :)**

**Xx Amy**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thanks to all the people still reading :) and I'm dedicating alto of time to my story's but it's becoming harder with Christmas coming up I'm just sooooo busy, Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush but I do own the EVIL doctor that declared Carlos dead, he should be fired any who Enjoy :)**

Logan had helped James back into bed and Katie and Mrs Knight had gone back to 2J to inform Carlos's parents on what had happened, Logan pulled up a chair and sat next to James bed.

"How are you feeling?" Logan said seeing that his friend looked really run down.

"Logan you should be in bed resting" James said

"You're ignoring my question "Logan said

"Logan the doctor put a bed in here for you for a reason" James said.

"James!" Logan said

"What" James said

"Answer the question" Logan said annoyed

"Well obviously I can't hide that I'm sick so no I'm not feeling great" James said.

"Do you want me to get a doctor are you in pain?" Logan asked

"Logan stops worrying I'm fine I will tell you if I'm in pain" James said

"Promise "Logan said

"ugh I promise" James said

"Good" Logan said satisfied

" Go and get Kendall he should have cooled down by now" James said wanting Logan to leave asap because he could feel bile rise up his throat.

"Okay I won't be long" Logan said leaving the room.

As soon as Logan left James opened the bed side draw and grabbed out a sick bag and emptied the contents of his stomach in the bag, at the same time he pressed the call button.

A nurse came in and gave James some medicine and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

**Meanwhile**

Logan walked down the hall towards the family room where he last saw Kendall and opened the door. "Hey Kendall I'm sorry about before I just wanted to-

"Who the hell are you, and who's Kendall" An upset man asked

"Oh I'm so sorry, I was looking for my friend , tall blonde hair?" Logan questioned

" No I haven't this room was empty when I got here" The man said

"Oh thanks anyway, sorry" Logan said closing the door

"Where the hell is he "Logan said to himself, walking towards the toilet, he turned down the hall towards the toilet and saw two figures on the floor

"Oh my god no, no, no, no, no,no,no,no,no" Logan said running towards them.

"L-logie "Carlos said as Logan knelt down beside him and Kendall

"Carlos y-your alive" Logan said tears falling from his eyes

"L-logie something's wrong with k-Kenny, I c-cant wake him up" Carlos said holding his stomach

"Okay hold on let me get someone" Logan said standing up

"AHH n-no don't leave me" Carlos said letting a tear of pain fall

"Litos what's wrong buddy?" Logan asked noticing Carlos yelp

"t-t-tummy h-hurts" Carlos said

"Your tummy hurts" Logan said pulling up Carlos's shirt

"Well it looks fine" Logan said pressing lightly on Carlos abdomen.

"AHHHH" Carlos yelled

"You felt that?" Logan asked shocked he barely even touched Carlos's stomach.

Carlos nodded.

"Carlos I barely touched you, I need to get you and Kendall help now Logan said putting his hand on Kendall's head, he was burning up.

"NO d-don't l-leave m-me "Carlos pleaded

"I'll be right back I promise "Logan said running back to Carlos's old room.

"James I need you to call a doctor Carlos is- OH MY GOD JAMES "Logan said running over to James who was throwing up blood into a sick bag, and by the looks of it he had been doing it for a while because there were several sick bags full and tied up resting on the cabinet.

"C-Car-los W-wh-hat a-a-abou-t Car-lo-os? ' James panted throwing up some more.

Logan reached over and pushed the call button and started rubbing soothing circles on James back.

"T-Than-ks L-logi-e" James panted coughing harshly.

"Don't talk Jamie "Logan said pushing the call button a few more times

Finally a nurse came" what seems to be the problem "She said

"Well unless you can't see ,y friends in pain and he needs help, and I have two more friends one unconsoues down then hall and they need some help" Logan said panicking.

' Okay calm down I'm going to get another nurse to take care of James here" The nurse said looking at James clipboard for his name." And if you direct me to your other friends I will help them" The nurse said remaining calm.

"Thank you down the hall here near the toilets" Logan said rushing down the hall.

"Oh my goodness" the nurse said seeing the state that Kendall and Carlos were in." Okay –

"Logan" Logan said getting that the nurse wanted to know his name.

"Okay Logan im going to get to gurneys and I need you to help me put your friends on them can you do that for me?" The nurse asked

" y-yes" Logan said trying to sound confident.

"There's a good lad until then I just need you to keep him calm" The nurse said referring to Carlos.

The nurse ran down the hall and out of Logan's sight. Logan turned his attention back to Carlos.

" Y-ou c-came b-ack" Carlos said shivering again.

" Yeah buddy I told you I would" Logan said noticing Carlos shivering. "You cold buddy" Logan said asking the obvious question.

"f-f-frezz-zing" Carlos said his teeth chattering and his lips blue.

Logan stood up and walked over to the supplies closet just a few meters away and opened the door." Jackpot" Logan said to himself. The closet was full of bedding for the hospital beds and blankets. Logan grabbed a few blankets and ran back over to Carlos.

" Here you go buddy" Logan said placing the blankets around Carlos's body being carful not to touch his stomach.

"T-than-nks" Carlos said closing his eyes.

' No Carlos you cant sleep yet, I don't know that you don't have a concussion" Logan said

" But i-im s-s-o t-tired l-logi-ie" Carlos said his speech slurring, and keeping his eyes closed.

"No Carlos you cant sleep" Logan said tapping his friends cheek, but there was no response. " Dam it Carlos"

**So what did we all think are we happy Carlos is alive? And if its not too much to ask could you please check out my new story called I wont leave you , anyway review please! I will try and update soon :)**

**Xx Amy**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks guys, so much 10 reviews away from 100! , disclaimer I don't own big time rush but I own the hospital hehe :) enjoy.**

"Carlos please" Logan said still no response from the smaller boy. "I'm sorry about this Carlos but I need you to stay awake" Logan said placing his hand on Carlos abdomen "God forgive me" Logan said pushing on Carlos tender area.

"AHHHHHHH" Carlos shot up.

"Shhhhh its ok I'm here "Logan said cradling Carlos.

"Logan it h-hurts" Carlos whimpered

"I know but the nurse is coming, just hold on Litos" Logan said and as if on cue the nurse came round the corner with 2 gurneys.

"Logan a little help" she said struggling controlling two gurneys.

Logan got up and pushed one gurney towards Kendall, Logan started to lift Kendall onto it when he started to stir "guh L-logie, C-Car-car" Kendall muttered his eyes rolling back into his head.

"I know buddy I have Carlos next to me see" Logan said moving back showing Carlos on the gurney next to him.

"M, good" Kendall said

"Hey Kenny could you at least try and help me out here" Logan said struggling to get Kendall on the gurney.

The nurse saw this and offered a hand "Need some help" She asked

"Please" Logan said

Once Kendall and Carlos we loaded up the nurse and Logan wheeled them back to James room

"Hey James look who I have" Logan said walking in pushing Carlos towards James.

"CARLOS" James shouted getting out of bed.

'James stay in bed you need to rest-

"Oh shut it Logan Carlos is alive" James said running to the smaller boy and placing his helmet on his head.

Carlos pried his eyes open "j-Jamie?"

"Yeah I'm here buddy, I b-brought your helmet" James said tears coming to his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry I d-did what I did ah" Carlos said clutching his stomach.

"Carlos don't talk, does your tummy hurt? "James asked

"Mmm huh" Carlos whimpered

"Okay on three "the doctor instructed" 1, 2,3" The doctor and nurse lifted Kendall of the gurney and onto the bed." Okay now the other one" The doctor said as he and the nurse lifted Carlos onto a bed and hooked them both up to several machines.

James got back in bed and Logan even had a sleep in his bed, Mrs Knight and Katie were called back to the hospital and the room was filled with soft snores.

'Mrs Knight" The doctor said shaking her shoulder trying not to wake the sleeping boys.

"Huh, oh are the boys going to be okay? "Mrs Knight said.

"Can we speak outside they need their rest and I don't want us to disturb them "The doctor said opening the door.

"Yes of course" Mrs Knight said walking into the hallway

" Okay " The doctor said holding up his clipboard " Let's see James, well we have him on the same medication as before and he will start chemo in a few days, errm Kendall well he needs to continue with physio and wear his back brace, Logan is fine I gave him an inhaler and he can be released tomorrow and Carlos, well we are still running a few tests but from what we can tell he has developed appendicitis and is going to have to have his appendix removed" The doctor said flicking through his clip board.

"Oh my gosh but they're all going to be fine right" Mrs Knight questioned

" Well Kendall Carlos should be healed in a few weeks, but I can't say the same for James his cancer is worst this time and its draining a lot out of him" The doctor replied.

"But he will be okay right?" She said

"Were not sure at this point in time, I'm sorry" The doctor said. "Good night mam" The doctor said walking down the hall.

Mrs Knight walked back into the room and she heard someone rustling the bed sheets she scanned each bed until she got to Carlos who was trying to get comfy.

Mrs Knight walked over to Carlos bed and sat on a chair next to him. "Carlos hunny are you having trouble sleeping" She asked nicely

"uh huh" Carlos nodded " Is James going to be okay?" Carlos asked looking up with his puppy eyes

"Did you hear me and the doctor talking" Mrs Knight asked stroking Carlos hair

"y-yeah I'm sorry" Carlos said apologising

"Oh hunny there's no need to apologize" She said sweetly

"Well is he?" Carlos said getting worried that Mrs Knight didn't reply

"The doctors don't know yet, but what they do know is you need some rest so try and get some sleep and we will talk some more in the morning" Mrs knight said pulling the covers around Carlos and tucking him in. "Nite sweetie " She said kissing him on the fore head

"Nite" Carlos said, letting a silent tear fall.

**Okay first off I'm MAJOIR STUCK ON IDEAS, I NEED HELP! And secondly please review what did you think? Hope your enjoying my story :)**

**Xx Amy**


	19. Chapter 19

**So me and my new friend Sarah aka swagUPwindowsDOWN are writing this next chapter, so bear in mind when you are reviewing to mention her as I am giving her credit for a major upcoming event :) disclaimer I don't own big time rush ENJOY !**

**Logan's POV**

Every time I close my eyes I see Carlos on the bathroom floor his body not being controlled by him, I'm standing there and there's nothing I can do, it's like I'm frozen and can't move , I feel paralysed.

**Normal POV**

"Logan earth to Logan are you okay" Carlos asked stunned after he just watched Logan thrash around in bed staring into space.

"Carlos what are you doing awake its 4:30 in the morning" Logan said looking at the clock.

"You woke me you were talking in your sleep" Carlos said

"Oh Carlos I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you" Logan said apologetically.

"Logan were you dreaming about me?" Carlos asked

"What makes you say that?" Logan asked wondering how Carlos knew.

"Well you kept on saying, my name and repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over again" Carlos said sounding scared.

"I'm sorry I scared you Litos, it's just every time I close my eyes I see you" Logan said

"Logan it's my fault I never should have taken those pills" Carlos went to turn over to look Logan in the eyes but his stomach protested and he let out a small yelp, which turned into a cough.

"Carlos you okay?" Logan asked trying to see Carlos expression but failed due to the poorly lit room.

Carlos went to reply but another wave of pain hit him as he let out a silent scream, holding his stomach.

"Carlos answer me? "Logan said getting panicked now. Still no answer from the smaller boy and Logan could take it, he hopped out of bed grabbing on to the night stand to steady him from the head rush he just received. After he was balanced he ran over to Carlos bed to find him clutching his stomach and his mouth open but no sound coming out.

"Carlos I'm here it's okay just breath in and out" Logan said holding Carlos hand that seemed to relax a little being in contact with Logan. "There we go" Logan said stroking Carlos head.

"It's okay buddy your surgery's tomorrow then you're going to feel so much better I promise" As those last two words came out of Logan's mouth he Imeadently regrated them, he just couldn't help shake the feeling that something was wrong.

After a while, the boys fell asleep together. They remained in Carlos' bed and when the doctor came in to take Kendall for his physio, they were both still asleep.  
"You ready Kendall?" he asked, bringing with him a wheelchair. Kendall nodded reluctantly and made the painful journey from his bed to the wheelchair.

As the doctor started to turn the wheelchair around however, Kendall had a sudden thought.  
"Wait! Can someone come with me?" he didn't want to seem weak, but he couldn't go there all alone.

He needed someone there for support and really, Kendall just wanted some company.  
"Yes, since James and Carlos aren't allowed out of bed and Logan is asleep, how about we call your mother and she can come in earlier to go with-"

"I'll go." a groggy voice sounded, stopping him from finishing his sentence. The doctor looked up to see Logan sit up and rub his tired eyes, then make his way to stand beside Kendall.

"Very well then." the doctor agreed and pushed the wheelchair out of the room.  
Kendall couldn't help but wonder why Logan's cheeks were slightly redder than normal or why his expression was taught with pain.  
**  
Logan POV:**  
My head was pounding now and every now and then, I would get these moments when my vision would completely blur. But I couldn't leave Kendall all on his own. That's why I went with him. I know I may not be feeling too great, but I'm sure better than Kendall, James and Carlos. Why am I the one to get off with nothing but a few asthma attacks?

I'm fine afterwards as well. But I have three friends, one who has recently come back to life and has appendicitis, another who can't walk properly and another with cancer. I feel so guilty. I shouldn't be allowed to walk free whilst their stuck with all those horrible problems. I wake up to see them unable to get out of bed, when I can walk around freely. It just isn't right. And yet, even though my headache seems to be getting worse, I can't abandon Kendall. So I sit in the room, for a whole hour, my headache ever present and starting to feel sick, whilst he has to endure the awful pain of difficult exercises and movements.

"Ok, Kendall. You did really good today, now for next time-" he was cut off by a beep.

"Oh, sorry, but there appears to be a problem with another patient. I'll be back in a few minutes" he rushed out of the room, leaving just me and Kendall.

"Are you ok?" I ask, my mouth suddenly feeling weird. It wasn't dry, but for some reason my mouth was producing loads of saliva.

"Yeah, a little tired but-" I wasn't able to hear the rest of what he said.

There was a roaring sound, rushing past my ears and the room toppled sideways. That's when I fell off my chair.

**Normal POV:**  
Logan's body became stiff and Kendall could only watch as he fell out of his chair onto the floor.

"Logan!" but the for mentioned boy didn't answer. His body remained stiff for some time, then he started to twitch. Just his left arm at first, but suddenly, it was like his whole body sprang to life as if it was being electrocuted.

Logan's body shook uncontrollably, his eyes fluttering open and closed. Kendall gasped as he watched his seemingly healthy friend convulse and shake. His yelled for someone to come, but no one was.

Kendall tried to get out of the wheelchair to get help, but he forgot about his useless legs. He fell to the floor, with a cry, but he didn't care about the pain at the moment. Kendall slid along the floor, to where the prone Logan was convulsing. Kendall reached out for his flinching hand and grasped it tightly. It was when Kendall noticed a strange liquid on the floor that he panicked. Logan had wet himself and he was still convulsing.

"Help! Help! Please! It's my friend! He's-" Kendall didn't know how to describe what was happening, he had only seen this on TV and he quickly tried to remember the words they had used. "He's having a seizure!"  
Kendall must have screamed for ages, his throat growing sore from all the yelling, but no one was coming.

He started to silently cry when a little trickle of blood ran down from his mouth."You have to be ok Logan, you have to." he whispered. "PLEASE! HELP!"

Suddenly, his prayers were answered. His doctor and a few others came running back in, followed by several nurses. They rushed over to the fallen boy and assessed him.

"He's seizuring! Looks like he's lost bladder control and he's bit his tongue." Everyone of the doctors and nurses worked together, injecting something into the still convulsing Logan's arm. Eventually, the seizure ended and Logan's eyes closed.

Kendall watched on as they lifted Logan onto a gurney.

"Let's set him up in the other boys' room, I want U's and E's, bloods and a urine test done. He needs to be observed every 5 minutes in case of another seizure." The doctor said as a nurse helped Kendall into a wheelchair.

He could only watch in worry as Logan was wheeled on the gurney.  
What on earth were James and Carlos going to say when they saw Logan in the state he was?

**So I would like to thank Sarah aka swagUPwindowsDOWN again because more that half of this Chapter she wrote so THANKS a million and to celebrate this special chapter can we try and bring the reviews to 100 ! and make sure your thank her :)**

**Xx Amy**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry for not updating I have been super busy with Christmas and everything any who enjoy :)**

James and Carlos were awake and sitting up by the time Kendall was wheeled back into the room. They immediately knew something was wrong, due to the tear tracks streaking Kendall's face and the absence of their little genius friend.

"Kendall? Is everything ok?" Carlos asked timidly, afraid of the answer. The two boys watched as the blonde got back into bed and then looked up at them with teary eyes.

"No." he answered shaking his head. "L-Logan came with me for therapy and h-he was fine and he must have lied about how he was feeling because-because..." Kendall trailed off, holding back sobs by biting his lip.

"What happened Kendall?" James asked, only concern present in his mind.

"He-he had a seizure!" Kendall cried, the stampede of tears making their way past his barrios.

"And I couldn't do anything! I couldn't get help and no one was coming! It went on for ages!" the green-eyed boy sniffed. "And I couldn't do anything."

The other two looked on in shock. Sure, they had thought something bad had happened, but nothing like this.

"K-Kendall, you do know this isn't your fault?" Carlos questioned after silence had overcome the room.

"How do you know it isn't? If he didn't go to therapy with me, this might never have happened! Maybe it's because of me!" Kendall cried, waving his hands about.

"Kendall, it wasn't your fault. If he had still of been here, then it would have happened anyway.

It's no ones fault" James tried to reason.

"It's mine...I died and the stress was probably too much and then found me and Kendall in the corridor and that was even more stress and-and I caused the seizure." Carlos' voice was incredibly small, yet he seemed extremely convinced that it was his fault. He knew it was. It had to be.

"Carlos-" James started, but he was interrupted as the door opened and the doctor came in, followed by two nurses wheeling a bed with an unconscious Logan on.

Logan was now re-dressed in a hospital gown and was attached to an IV and a heart monitor. His skin was as white as could be, and considering Logan's naturally pale complexion, that was saying something.

The doctor thanked the nurses as they left and turned around to face the three worried boys. He sighed as he started to speak.

"Boys, I just want you to know that this is none of your faults, ok? No matter where Logan was, he would still have had the seizure." he told them, looking directly to Kendall.

"Why did he have the seizure?" James asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"There are a number of reasons." the doctor replied. "It could have been from him having a fever, exhaustion or even from stress. There are more serious causes, but we are currently waiting on his test results so that we can fully determine why it happened."

After talking some more, the doctor left the boys, reminding them that if anything happened, to press the call button straight away.

Nothing did happen for a while. The three conscious boys talked among themselves. Carlos seemed to perk up when he saw some movement from Logan.

"Hey! Look, Logie's waking up!" he exclaimed. The other two turned their heads to the brunette boy, watching as Logan's left arm seemed to be moving. James and Carlos were happy as they thought Logan was waking up, but Kendall, recognizing something from before, became wide eyed.

"No, no, no, no!" he cried as his friends talked happily.

"What's wrong Kendall?" James asked questioningly.

"Press the call button!" Kendall said frantically to James who was nearest to the red button.

"Why Kendall? Nothing's wrong, what's the matt-" again James wasn't able to finish his sentence, because right in the middle of saying it, Logan's body began to shake again until he was convulsing. It had only been about half an hour since the last seizure.

At first the boys were in shock, but James managed to snap out of it and slammed his hand down on the call button.

Their doctor, accompanied by others, ran into the room and guessing it was Logan, moved quickly over to him.

They stabilized and cushioned his head, turning him on his side, whilst another doctor filled a syringe with a clear liquid and quickly injected it into Logan's IV.

The boy's body stopped convulsing and they turned him back.

"Does anyone know where his test results are?" their doctor asked.

A nurse came running in, holding several slips of paper. The doctor looked over them and sighed, rubbing his chin.

"Ok, I want this boy to be closely monitored."

The boys absently listened as they heard him speaking about different medicines. He then came in front of them all and delivered Logan's diagnoses.

"Ok boys. Now, I have just looked over Logan's test results and it has confirmed my theory of what Logan has. I'm afraid it's something more serious than a simple fever or from exhaustion."

"More serious?" Kendall asked.

"Yes. Since he's had more than one seizure, it confirms what I first thought. Logan is having seizures known as Tonic-Clonic seizures. These are typically associated with Epilepsy."

"Epilepsy!" they all cried.

"No he cant have epilepsy" Kendall cried

"No not Logan" James said eyes tearing up.

"I don't understand" Carlos whispered just loud enough for James to hear.

"What don't you understand buddy" James said

"Why is everything happening to us, w-why" Carlos sobbed.

" I don't know" James said as he and Kendall cradled Carlos into a hug.

**So same deal as before thank swagUPwindowsDOWN for this chapter because most of it is hers. :) but please review.**


	21. Chapter 21

**hey i know its been like a month and if you have read blessed or cursed ****lately then you know that my aunt recently died and i had to fly out to England then i went on a holiday so i just haven't found the time to update but i am not so enjoy :) and i don't own anything**

Logan sat awake in his bed the other boys were asleep, a knock at the door made Logan turn his attention to the doctor in the doorway. "Hi"

" How are you feeling Mr. mitchell?" The doctor asked.

" Okay i guess" Logan sighed.

" I have some news for you and its not good I'm afraid" Logan nodded, the doctor continued. " Initially we diagnosed you with epilepsy, but your brain scans have come back and it shows you have brain cancer, now in some cases like yours, this can cause epilepsy, I'm sorry"

" Please don't tell my friends " Logan said not knowing that Kendall was awake and heard the whole conversation.

" As you wish, now get some rest" The doctor said leaving the room.

Morning came around nor Logan or Kendall had slept since the doctor left.

Kendall sat up and looked over at Logan, and Logan looked back.

" Hey" Kendall said

"How are you feeling?" Logan asked

" How I'm i feeling Logan you have cancer" Kendall blurted out.

"Kendall i-

" And the worst part is, you weren't even going to tell us" Kendall said hobbling out the room.

" Kendall wait" Logan shouted but it was too late Kendall had already left.

"Whats's going on" James said rubbing his eyes

" Nothing" Logan said flopping back onto his pillow.

" How you feeling?" James asked

" Fine" Logan said

"You don't seem fin-

"morning Logie how you feel-

" Im fine fucking fine"

"Well you don't seem fine" James added

"well maybe because everyone keeps asking me how i am and-

" Logan were just concerned about your health" James said

" James you have cancer your dying, and Carlos you actually died, and Kendall's just learning how to walk again, and your all worrying about me look at yourself's" Logan yelled

" Logan were just looking out for you" James said

" Yeah you would have done the same for us" Carlos added.

" Thats not the point, take care of yourself" Logan pleaded .Kendall came back into the room and he grabbed his walking frame and started to walk out again.

"Wait Kendall where are you going?" Logan asked

" Therapy" Kendall said continuing walking.

" Wait i wanna come" Logan said hopping out of bed and bring his IV with him.

" No"

" Why not?" Logan asked

"Why not?, why not?, Logan are you crazy, is your brain cancer making you thick or something , what if you seizure again, and i cant help you, don't you see its my fault and im not letting it happen again" Kendall said walking into the hallway. Logan followed.

Kendall's words had really hurt Logan, he let a silent tear fall but that wasn't going to stop continued to follow Kendall. " Logan go back to the room" Kendall said not looking back but he knew Logan was still there.

" LOGAN I SAID GO BACK TO THE ROOM" Kendall turned around and pushed Logan to the ground only to realise it wasn't Logan he had pushed it was Carlos. Carlos looked at Kendall in a way that made him feel ashamed. Carlos eyes filled with tears. " I-I j-just was c-checking if you were alright" Carlos got up and ran back to his room crying.

" Carlos wait" Logan went after him, and Kendall continued to therapy like nothing happened.

Logan arrived back at his room to find a crying Carlos and James comforting him. "Carlos are you okay?". Carlos didn't reply " Carlos?" Logan asked again.

" how could you do this?" James asked/

"What! Kendall's the one that pushed him" Logan said defending himself.

" You know thats not what I'm talking about, how could you not tell us Logan were your friends, and yet alone me I've been through it" James exclaimed.

" James Im sorry i just didn't want you guys to worry" Logan explained.

" Yeah well you shouldn't of hid it from us in the first place" Carlos sniffled

" I know Litos I'm sorry, are you okay?" Logan asked

"Kendall hurt me" Carlos said holding out his swollen wrist.

"I know I'm going to go and talk to him, James can you get a doctor to look at that" Logan said

" I will, and Logan"

"Yeah?"

'Please be careful and look after yourself because ei know you always do this worry about others more that yourself" James said desperately want Logan to take proper care of himself.

" I will" Logan said walking out and towards where Kendall was. Logan opened the therapy room to find Kendall crouched in a corner crying.

"Kendall what's wrong?" Logan said doing his best to rush towards Kendall, he placed his hand on Kendall's shoulder. Kendall looked up his eyes were all red and puffy.

"Kenny talk to me?"

" All i ever do is hurt you guys" Kendall sobbed

" Thats not true" Logan said in an attempt to comfort his green eyed friend

" Yes it is i try to be the leader and take control, thinking in doing the best for you guys, but all I'm actually doing is hurting you and making things worse" Kendall cried harder if that was even possible .

" Everything going to turn out okay Kendall i promise"

" Dont" Kendall stated

"Dont what" Logan asked

" Dont promise, because you cant keep it"

" Yes i can"

" How can you Logan ,you dying isn't everything turning out okay,Im losing James now you" Kendall was now hysterical Logan could barley make out what he was saying.

"i can't lose you both , I'm not ready your like the brothers i never had, i j-just can't " Logan cradled Kendall as he cried and they both lay of the floor of the therapy centre

**sorry kind of shit ending but there it is chapter 21,i will try and update as ****soon as i can , reag enjoy and PLEASE REVIEW, it makes me sooooo happy you don't understand.**

**Xx Amy**


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